


Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

by Cheriluvs10



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-11 22:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 32,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2086011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheriluvs10/pseuds/Cheriluvs10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Am I A Good Man teaser and written with the help of my friend, Carol Reidel.

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:** Inspired by the Am I A Good Man teaser and written with the help of my friend, Carol Reidel.  


* * *

  
Chapter One

Clara backed up against the railing surrounding the console while the new Doctor worked to stop the TARDIS from crashing. She never answered the Doctor's question about being able to fly the TARDIS because the Doctor apparently decided there was no time and he was working to stabilize the ship. Even though the ship was spinning out of control, Clara wasn't dwelling on that because she was still trying to get her head around the fact that the Doctor wasn't her Doctor any longer. This strange man was older and seemed more mature than the silly, lovable Doctor she had come to love. She kept her distance while the new Doctor worked on saving the TARDIS.

Then she was thrown to the floor with the Doctor when the TARDIS crashed down with an enormous boom and her thoughts were interrupted by the incredible burst of pain that shot through her body. Groaning, she slowly lifted her chest up and looked around, amazed to be alive and in one piece. The Doctor was on the other side of the platform with his back to her, slowly getting up. Clara stared at the Eleventh Doctor's clothes as he slowly got to his feet and felt another burst of pain, this time in her heart.

"Clara?" the Doctor groaned out as he got to his knees and grabbed hold of the rim of the console. "Clara, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm…fine," Clara said as she slowly got to her feet.

She froze when she felt the Doctor's hands around her waist. The Doctor, sensing her hesitation, jerked his hands away and Clara looked around as she stood up and watched the Doctor step backwards to the other side of the console.

"Clara, it's me," he said, putting his hands on his chest. "I'm the Doctor."

"I…I know that, I've seen all your lives before…almost all of them," she amended since she realized she never saw this body before but then again, the Time Lords changed the future. Without them, the Doctor would have died and even though this Doctor was a stranger to her now, the thought of him being dead filled her with even more sorrow. She'd rather have him as a new man than not at all.

But for the moment, the Doctor was touching his face and examining himself.

"What do I look like, tell me?" he finally said.

Clara was about to say something then she remembered something and held up her finger before running towards the back door.

"Clara, it's me!" the Doctor said as she ran from him.

"I know! Just wait here, I have a mirror," she called as she ran out of the room.

She ran to her room and looked around. She had a mirror in her compact but she decided to grab the full length mirror off the wall so he could have a better look at himself. By the time she was back in the console room, the Doctor was leaning against the console, waiting for her.

"Here you are then," she said, stepping up to the platform.

The Doctor walked over to her slowly, not wanting to frighten her. Clara was holding the mirror in front of her, almost like a shield the Doctor thought as he stepped up. Then he got a good look at his face and he stopped short, his mouth dropping open.

"What?" he said, putting his hand on the side of his face.

"You're older," Clara said unnecessarily, thinking that was why he looked so shocked.

"I know that," the Doctor said impatiently. "That's isn't why I did a double take."

"Why then?"

"I know this face, I've seen it before," the Doctor said, running his left hand over his face while he gazed at himself.

"You have? Where?"

"Ancient Rome, someone I saved in Pompeii," he murmured as he gazed at himself.

"You took the face of someone you knew?"

"Wasn't me, regeneration is random…well, most of the time. But this is a reboot. I suspect something was gleaned from my memories and used as the new body since this isn't supposed to happen. Still, could be worse. Coulda looked like the Abzorbaloff, I suppose."

He smiled warmly at her and took a step towards her and sighed when Clara involuntarily took a step back.

"Clara, I won't hurt you. It's me," the Doctor said in exasperation. "Be my pal?"

Clara hesitated a moment before nodding dumbly. The Doctor studied her a moment before asking for the mirror.

"I'm going to change into something else before we find out where we are and I'll put this back," he said. "Unless I'm not allowed to go in your room now?" he added.

"No, you can go in," Clara said, feeling a bit sheepish that she was treating her best friend with so much suspicion.

She held out the mirror and the Doctor took it. The Doctor deliberately brushed his hand against hers when he took the mirror and smiled when Clara didn't react badly.

"Everything will be alright, you'll see," he said, taking the mirror from her. "Just stay put and I'll be right back."

Clara nodded and the Doctor walked out of the room. She watched him go and breathed a sigh of relief when he left. She was still unsure about this Doctor. She hated that she was acting so rude and treating him like an enemy but she needed time to adjust. While she was standing there, she suddenly heard a phone ringing. She frowned and turned to the console, searching for one before she realized it was coming from the door. She looked around for the Doctor but he was still out of the room so she finally decided to answer it herself. She walked over to the door, opened it, noticed they seemed to be in the middle of a field and opened the tiny door in the middle of the door. The muffled phone noise increased and she picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" she said hesitantly.

"Clara!"

Clara nearly dropped the phone when she heard the Eleventh Doctor's voice coming through it. Tears sprang to her eyes as she forced herself to keep the receiver against her ear.

"Clara, are you there?" Eleven said.

Clara swallowed hard.

"Yeah, I'm here," she said as a tear streaked down her cheek.

"Good. This is me. I decided to leave a message for you before I patched the phone back through the console."

Clara frowned.

"Where are you?" she said.

"Trenzalor. I just received the reboot. I assume I changed now from your end?"

"Yeah, you did. You look like…"

"No, no, no! Don't tell me, let it be a surprise!" the Doctor yelled. "I don't have much time so I wanted to ring you and tell you that you need to be kind to my next body."

Clara jerked her head back. How did he know she was being less than unkind to his new regeneration.

"I know you've never been through this before and from experience, I can tell you that it is a bit jarring," Eleven explained. "The last time this happened, my companion was scared and I had to reassure her that I was the same man. I figured it might happen again so I'm here to tell you that you needn't be scared, it's me, Clara, honestly. So please be gentle with me and show me some kindness. Help me adjust and the two of us will be pals again, you'll see!"

"I…I will, Doctor," Clara said in a ragged voice as tears streamed down her cheeks.

There was a moment of hesitation.

"Clara, are you alright. It sounds like you're crying," Eleven finally said.

"I…miss you, Doctor," Clara said as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"But that's the point, Clara. I'm with you still," Eleven said gently. "I might not act the same way but I'll still care for you, I'm sure of it. Just help me and please don't leave, that's the worst thing you could do at this point. Things'll work out and you might not miss me so much. Just give it some time at least before you decide to leave. He'll be a friend to you, I know it."

"Alright, Doctor," Clara said. "I will."

"Good. Now…gotta go, I need to do a couple of things before I change. Just don't leave, Clara. Give me a chance, yeah?"

"Yeah…and Doctor…"

"Yes?"

"I…love you."

Another moment of silence.

"Thank you," he finally said. "See you on the other side, Clara Oswald."

"See you there, Doctor. Bye."

Her heart ached briefly when she heard him hang up the phone. She composed herself and wiped the tears from her eyes before she put the receiver back and shut the door. She turned, walked inside and stopped short. The Doctor was standing at the console but now he had changed Eleven's clothes for a brand new wardrobe. The Doctor smiled at her and extended his arms out.

"So," he said, "how do I look?"  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	2. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Two

Pete's World

Rose paced back and forth while she looked at the clock for what appeared to be the tenth time in the last three minutes. She thought back to just before she had brought her husband to the A & E and how scared she was.

Two hours ago

"Whatcha watching," Gaz asked as he leaned over the back of the couch and Rose looked at him. When they became stranded in the alternate universe, the human meta-crisis of the Doctor had decided on the name Gary Nicholas Lachlan and she didn't mind calling him "Gaz". She still couldn't get over how open and carefree he was and he always told her he loved her before they went to bed. She was more shocked when he asked her to marry him only two weeks after they had arrived.

"Are you out of your minds?" Jackie had asked then arranged for a near royal wedding for them and they had honeymooned in Scotland. It was there that he had picked out his name and he gave Rose a sweet smile.

"I'm watching Spies of Warsaw," she said and he rolled his eyes.

"Why are you watching that for? You've seen it, oh, at least a million times!"

"I have not," she said and he hopped over the top of the couch and settled next to her.

"You just like it because that guy looks like me," he said, arching his eyebrows up and down.

"Nah, he looks nothing like you," she said and he placed his head on her shoulder. They watched the movie, but he seemed uncomfortable and she noticed his hands were shaking. "Are you ok?"

"I don't know," he said softly when a sharp pain roared through his body and he screamed. Rose quickly got off the couch as Gaz slid to the floor and curled his body into a ball. "It's hurts."

"I'm calling an ambulance," she said as she picked up the handset off the charger and pushed 999. Gaz moaned as she talked with the operator and she knelt on the floor next to him. She pushed the button to end the call then placed the handset on the coffee table and brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"Rose?" Jackie said while she, Tony and Pete walked in the room and Rose ran to her mother, hugging her. Jackie hushed her while rubbing her back and Pete gave her a concerned look. When he found out that Rose and Gaz were stranded in this universe, Pete had gone to the trouble of getting identification for Gaz and even funded him when he decided to go school. Even though he had the Doctor's memories, he felt like he needed to prove he could do the work himself and graduated from four universities in under three years, earning a number of degrees.

"Have the doctors said anything?" Pete finally asked and Rose looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"Well, I'll go see what I can find out," Pete said as he left the room and Rose held onto Jackie.

A month later

The first thing Gaz heard as his mind came out of the darkness was a soft hissing sound. The second and third thing he heard was a light beeping sound and a clicking noise. Something was covering his mouth and nose and he felt tired. He slowly reached up to touch whatever was over his nose and mouth when he felt someone take his hand and he sighed.

"Leave it," Rose's voice said, but she sounded like she was underwater.

"Rose?" he asked softly and felt her kissing the top of his head.

"Yeah, it's me," she said and he slowly opened his eyes. The chocolate brown eyes looked at little bloodshot and runny as she used a tissue to wipe them and he blinked his eyes a few times. "Hello."

"What happened?" he asked then noticed how rough his voice sounded.

"The doctors aren't sure. All they know is you had a very high fever and some of your organs were failing."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"You've been in a coma for a month," she said and ran her finger over the beard. "Now you look like that Alec Hardy guy."

"You and your tv characters," he said with a weak smile. "Am I going to be alright?"

"That's the thing. The doctors have run numerous tests after your fever broke and there isn't anything wrong with you other than the fact you were still in a coma."

"That's weird," he said then sighed. He thought for a few minutes then looked at her and she saw something in his eyes. "Do you think I regenerated?"

"No, you still look the same."

"I mean internally."

"I don't know," Rose said when the door opened and the nurse walked in the room.

"Why didn't you ring to tell me he was awake?" the nurse asked in a tart tone. She had heard Pete Tyler's son-in-law was in the hospital and had heard rumors on how Jackie was demanding the best care of him.

"I was going to," Rose said as she stepped back and Gaz looked at the nurse.

"Don't talk to my wife like that," he growled and Rose hushed him, brushing the hair from his forehead. After the nurse left the room, Gaz looked at Rose and she sat on the edge of the bed, taking his hand.

"I was thinking," he said and Rose smiled.

"You know that gives you a headache," she teased and he rolled his eyes.

"I'm being serious here," he said and she lightly giggled. "What if I wasn't the one who regenerated?"

"You think the Doctor has regenerated?" she asked and he sighed.

"I think so," he said and pressed his lips together. "If that's true then he is on his next to last life. Time Lords can only regenerate twelve times."

"Oh no," she said and he sighed.

"You're going to be mad at me," he said and she gave him a puzzled look. "I knew I wasn't feeling good."

"Why didn't you say something?" she demanded and he gave her sad puppy eyes.

"I thought it was just that flu that was going around Torchwood," he sighed and she gently smacked his right shoulder. "Ouch."

"Sorry," she said, rubbing his shoulder. "Do you really think he's regenerated?"

"There is only one way to find out," he said. "We need to use my TARDIS."

"She isn't ready."

Using the shortcut Donna had given them, Gaz was able to grown a TARDIS five years ago and Pete had given him a secret lab at Torchwood to use. He handpicked a team to help him and he was thrilled when the TARDIS made contact with him for the very first time.

"She'll have to be," he sighed then closed his eyes and she watched him drift off to sleep.

Three weeks later

"Right, what do you think?" Gaz said as he walked down the ramp that led up to the dressing room and Rose smiled at him. He was wearing a brown pinstripe suit, a white shirt, a blue tie with purple swirls, a tan long coat, black socks and white converse. He had gotten his hair cut and the dark brown hair stood wild on the top of his head. She did miss the beard and she giggled when he placed the fedora on top of his head. "Is it too much?"

"Yeah," she said and he turned, tossing the fedora into the dressing room. She watched him walk down the ramp when he walked to the console and looked at the time rotor moving up and down behind the glass. He had kept the coral control room and the outside liked like a blue police call box. A tattered jump seat was to the right of the console and she watched him moving around the console, pushing buttons, flicking levers, turning dials and looking at the screens. He had put on his dark frame glasses as he held his tongue between his teeth then smiled, placing his hand on the handle of the hand break.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" she asked and he scrunched up his nose.

'Of course I do. Well, maybe. No, I do. Sorta," he said and she giggled. She loved when he rambled and he leaned against the console, folding his arms over his chest. "What's with the giggling? Don't you think I can do it?"

"Of course I do," she said, patting his arm.

"Then take a seat, Miss Smarty Pants," he said as he shooed her away from the console and she sat on the jump seat. Pulling on the hand break, Gaz looked at the screens as he walked around the console and she looked at his bottom. She had forgotten how sexy he looked then mentally slapped herself.

"He isn't the Doctor," she thought and her heart ached. She had wondered if the Doctor had regenerated. Having gone through regeneration before, she hoped he had someone with him for the idea of him not having anyone to hold his hand scared her.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	3. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Three

Clara stared at the Doctor as he waited for her opinion. She had to admit he looked quite dashing in his dark blue suit and crisp white shirt. She looked at his neck and felt a pang when she didn't see a bow tie there but she loved the outfit and told him so. A huge smile spread over his face and he came towards her. As he moved, Clara could see red lining in the coat he wore as it fanned out behind him.

"I'm so glad you approve," he said as he walked over to her. "I sometimes have trouble picking out a proper human outfit."

"You mean like the Victorian clothes you wore in twenty first century London?" Clara said wryly.

"I thought I looked quite dashing in that outfit," the Doctor said.

Clara nodded and smiled when the Doctor smiled back. She remembered what her Doctor had told her and without warning she flung her arms around the stunned Doctor and held him tightly. The Doctor stiffened for a few seconds before Clara felt his arms around her.

"So…" he said in her ear, "does this mean we're pals after all?"

"I'd like to be, yeah," Clara said, pulling away. "I don't want to leave. I want to stay here."

"Good," the Doctor said, nodding. "Shall we then?" he said, gesturing to the front doors.

Clara nodded and stepped aside as the Doctor opened the doors. He stepped outside and took a deep breath while Clara followed him. Then he turned and examined his ship while she looked around. The field they were in stretched on for a few miles with a forest in the distance. The grass was a pale yellow, unlike anything she'd ever seen before so she knew they weren't on Earth. The Doctor sighed angrily and cursed to himself in Gallifreyan as Clara turned his attention to him.

"One moment, have to do something," he said before he headed back inside.

Clara peeked in and noticed he was at the console, fiddling with it. While she watched him running around the console, she suddenly heard a high pitched shrieking and spun around, watching in horror as an ostrichlike bird soared over the TARDIS, circled and landed twenty feet in front of her. The body of the bird resembled an ostrich but the neck and feet resembled a velociraptor. The bird creature ruffled its feathers and eyed Clara with pale yellow eyes. It squawked and opened its mouth, revealing a mouth filled with long jagged teeth. Clara gasped as the beast started to charge her and she quickly ducked back into the TARDIS and slammed the door shut.

The Doctor looked up from what he was doing at the TARDIS.

"No, stay outside. The TARDIS needs to be repaired and I'm about to start the…"

He trailed off and stared at the front door in shock when the bird hit the door hard and began to squawk and screech while it clawed at the wood.

"Big ostrich bird wants to eat me," Clara said as the shrieking and scratching continued.

"Damn it, what else could go wrong today," the Doctor growled as he walked to the right side of the console. "Cover your ears, Clara."

Clara put her hands over her ears and winced when the Doctor pushed a button and a high pitched shriek came from outside the TARDIS. The Doctor watched the monitor while he increased the noise and Clara clamped her hands over her ears and ran to him.

"There! That's sorted," the Doctor said when he pushed the button and the noise stopped. "He might be loud but my TARDIS is louder. I just amplified a very unpleasant noise through an outside speaker and now the bird has left."

"Good, I hope it never comes back," Clara said as she took her hands away from her ears.

"At least we've had a sampling of the wildlife here," the Doctor said. "Unfortunately, we have to leave the TARDIS so she can repair herself."

"Brilliant. We're gonna be chased by giant turkeys the moment we step outside the door."

"Not to worry, Clara. I have a solution. Wait here," he said before exiting the room.

Clara milled around, waiting for him to come back. Finally, after ten minutes, he returned with two small metal discs.

"Personal forcefields," he said as he came over to her. "They can repel most things. I'm hoping that if that buzzard comes back, he won't be able to eat us."

"But even if that keeps him away from us, how will we make it leave?" Clara said.

The Doctor smiled.

"I have a solution for that as well. But for now, let's go before the TARDIS starts repairing herself around us."

He pushed down on the disc and Clara watched as a pale blue forcefield shot out of it. The Doctor put it in her pocket and adjusted it so the forcefield covered her from head to toe. Then he did the same with himself and when they were ready, he motioned for her to follow him. Clara walked behind him, noticing that the Doctor was able to open the door without any resistance from the forcefield. She figured that they had still had free motion but anyone who tried to grab from the outside would be repelled. As she stepped outside with the Doctor, she froze when she saw the bird. He was standing thirty feet away, eyeing them warily.

"I see our friend hasn't given up yet," the Doctor said, looking down and reaching into his coat pocket. "I suppose I will have to be more assertive and teach him a lesson about attacking…"

"Doctor!" Clara said, grabbing his arm.

The Doctor looked up and noticed the bird was charging them again. He sighed and reached into his pocket, producing a small black pistol.

"Sorry, my friend. But you won't make a meal of us," he said as he aimed the pistol at the bird.

"Doctor, wait!" Clara said, alarmed that he was going to shoot it.

She watched in horror as he fired a laser bolt at it. And then she was shocked when instead of dropping dead, the bird vanished in a flash of white light. Clara frowned and looked around.

"What did you do?" she said to him.

"Watch," the Doctor said, his eyes twinkling.

Out of the corner of her eye, Clara saw another flash of light about a half mile to the right of her. She looked over and noticed the confused bird had been teleported away from them.

"Transmat pistol, something I came up with recently," the Doctor said. "If big and scaly wants to come back for another go, he'll find himself teleported to the other side of the planet."

Clara watched while the bird stared at them silently from a distance before turning and flying away from them.

"Ah, it does have some common sense after all," the Doctor said as he put the pistol back in his pocket. "Well, I think we should try to find out where we are and see if there is more than killer ostriches here. Coming?" he said, crooking his arm.

"Always," Clara said, threading her arm through his.

The Doctor smiled at that before he and Clara walked off in search of intelligent life.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	4. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Four

Rose watched while Gaz moved around the console when he turned around and leaned against it.

"Still no way of getting back to the our universe?" she asked. He had been trying for hours to find a way to cross over to their original universe and he wiped his face with his hands.

"Not a sausage," he sighed and walked to the jump seat, sitting next to her.

"You know, you said he was on his next to last life. How did you know that?" she asked and he leaned back against the cushion.

"Remember the first time I got sick?" he asked.

She did remember.

He had woken her up in the middle of the night and kept screaming he didn't want to go. He had slid out of bed and went into a series of strong seizures until he passed out.

He woke up three days later.

"Are you telling me he had regenerated that time, too?" Rose asked.

"Yeah," Gaz sighed then got up and walked out of the room. She got up then followed him out of the control room and down the long hallways. She liked that he kept the wood paneling and the round light nodules and little lights in the walls twinkled like fairy lights. He kept walking until he came to a pair of large, wooden doors and he snapped his fingers. The large, wooden doors opened while the lights clicked on and he led her into the room.

"What is this place?" she asked as they walked by the display cases and he placed his hands in the tan long coat pockets. Unlike the Doctor's coat, the pockets weren't bigger on the inside and he flexed his fingers.

"This is the memory room," Gaz said as he looked at one of the display cases. Behind the glass was a hat box covered in pink silk and fabric roses covered the lid. Rose saw the look on his face while Gaz placed his hand on the glass and blinked his eyes a few times. "Donna loved hats."

"Why are we in here?" she asked while Gaz walked away and headed for the gold framed paintings on the wall.

"I need to show you something," he said softly and she walked to him. A floor to ceiling landscape sat in a gold frame and she looked at the burnt orange sky, the twin suns, the red grass and the domed city sitting between two large mountains. "That's Gallifrey."

"It's beautiful," she said then jumped when the red grass started moving and he smiled. "The grass just moved!"

"It's a three dimensional painting," he said and slid his hand in the painting. He could feel the red grass moving under his hand as she looked at him and he closed his eyes. "It's a captured moment in time."

"You mean we could go to that city over there?" Rose asked, pointing to the domed city.

"If you want to," he said as he stepped into the painting and turned, looking at her. Cautiously, Rose stepped in the painting and took his hand. "This is…amazing."

"Come on," Gaz said while they walked through the red grass and she looked up at the burnt orange sky. Placing his arm around her, he held her against him and she placed her head against his arm. They walked for a long time when they stopped near a group of trees and she saw that the trees had silver, hexagonal leaves. Reaching up, she moved her fingers over the leaves and the leaves made a soft tinkling noise. "You should see what the trees look like at sunset."

"What do they look like?" she asked as he sat down and leaned against the trunk of the tree.

"They look like they're on fire," he sighed and she sat next to him.

"And this is where the Doctor came from, yeah?"

"Yeah," he said with a small nod of his head.

"Then why did he leave?"

"There were a lot of reasons."

"Would you have left?" she asked and he looked up at the silver hexagonal leaves.

"No," he sighed and she snuggled next to him. They sat in silence for a long time when he moved her away from him and stood up. "Ok, enough of this shite. Let's get going."

She got up when he knelt down on his haunches and she laughed, getting onto his back. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held on as he stood up and walked away.

None of the Time Lords noticed two strangers as Gaz and Rose peeked out from behind the pillar and he nodded his head. He took her hand as they walked into the main plaza and Rose looked up at the tall buildings. Most of the buildings were domed and had large, glass windows and hover cars moved slowly overhead.

"That beats zeppelins any day of the week," she whispered and he gently nudged her. They walked along the pavement as Rose looked around and noticed that some of the people wore the robes of the Time Lords while other people wore plain garments and boots. "What up with that?"

"Oh, see, those are Time Lords," Gaz said, pointing to three men wearing red robes and arched head gear. "Those over there are just Gallifreyans."

"So it's like a class society with an upper class and a lower class."

"Yeah, something like that," Gaz said then pulled her behind a column. Gaz had seen the Doctor coming down the pavement and was a little embarrassed. He knew what the Doctor's sixth life looked like and knew Rose would tease him endlessly if she got a glimpse of him.

"What's wrong?" she asked while trying to see around him, but Gaz gently held her back then looked at her.

"I saw the Doctor," he finally said.

"Then why didn't you let me see him? This is, after all, a memory. He wouldn't remember meeting us."

"That's true. But why risk it?" Gaz asked and she lightly laughed, rolling her eyes. Taking her hand, they walked from behind the column and walked down the pavement. He showed her where the Academy was as well as some other buildings when he stopped and looked up at the large, white stone building.

"What's in there?" Rose asked and he felt his heart slamming in his chest.

"That's the Senate," Gaz said softly.

"Can we go in?" she asked when he frowned and scrunched up his nose.

"Nah, it's boring," he said when he glanced up and saw a Time Lord dressed all in black and his heart froze in his chest. The cold eyes seem to lock with his as the wind blew through the white hair peeking out from under the head gear and Gaz slowly backed up. "We have to get out of here."

"Why?" Rose said, but he didn't answer until they got back to the entrance of the painting and he stepped out of the painting. Rose followed him when Gaz looked at the ceiling and the painting and golden frame vanished. "Why did you do that for?"

"I had to get rid of it."

"You had to get rid of it?" Rose asked as he stormed out of the room and she half ran to catch up with him. She found him in the control room as he looked at the screens and she could tell he was upset. His body was shaking and he flexed his fingers into tight fists. She slowly walked to him when she placed her hand on his back and he spun around, glaring at her. His soft, chocolate brown eyes were now black and she knew they only did that when the Doctor was furious. "Alright, I want to know what's going on."

"I can't tell you," he said and lowered his head. She placed her hands around him then placed her head against his chest and his heart slammed in her ear. He rested his chin on top of her head while holding her and smiled while she gently rubbed his back.

"You promised me you would always tell me the truth," Rose said and he kissed the top of her head.

"You're right," he said as he let go and placed his hands on her shoulders. "But what I have to tell you will change the way you look at me and the Doctor."

"I don't understand."

"There was a Time Lord at the top of the stairs and I recognized him."

"Was he someone the Doctor knew?"

"No, he was the Doctor," he said and she gave him a confused look.

"How could he be the Doctor if the Doctor was already there?"

"That's the part you're not going to believe," he said. "See, there comes a time between the Doctor's eleventh and twelfth lives when he becomes, well, not the Doctor."

"What are you talking about?"

"All of the pain, all the sorrow, all the negativity inside him will break free and he will become something far more dangerous than any Cyberman or Dalek."

"What will he become?" Rose asked and Gaz sighed, brushing the hair out of his eyes.

"He'll become the Valeyard."  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	5. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Five

Clara followed the Doctor while they walked through the field. So far they hadn't seen anymore bird lizards, actually they hadn't seen much of anything apart from a few strange insects and some birds. Clara wondered just how far they were going to go. She looked back and noticed the TARDIS was now a good distance away from them.

"How long does it take for the TARDIS to repair herself?" Clara asked the Doctor as they walked.

"Depends on how heavily damaged she is, she's pretty banged up so it might take awhile," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, but we're walking further and further away from it and there's nothing in sight. Shouldn't we wait until it's finished?" Clara said.

"I don't know how long that will be and we might get attacked again by that creature," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, but what if we don't find anything and we need to get back and…"

"CLARA, STOP WHINGING!" the Doctor bellowed as he suddenly spun around.

He stood there in shock while Clara backed up and stared at him with a mixture of shock and fear. The Doctor swallowed hard.

"I'm…sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he said, holding out his hand to her. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. Forgive me, Clara, please."

"You're not the same man," Clara said, backing up. "He told me to be your friend but I don't think he realized how different you are from him."

"Who told you to be my friend?" the Doctor said.

"You…you rang me before you changed."

The Doctor thought about that and nodded.

"That's right, I did," he said. "Mind's still a muddle, still trying to cope with the change. Yes, I did tell you that, Clara, and I meant it. And that's not true; I did anticipate having a different personality. It's just that…I don't know who I am yet."

"You're the Doctor."

"Yes, I know that. But who I am as a person. Am I sarcastic, friendly, loving, moody, that sort of thing. I'm still trying to sort through what happened and it's frustrating and your complaining added to that and I yelled when I shouldn't have. And I'm sorry, I truly am. I want us to be friends. I want you to trust me. Please trust me, Clara," he implored with both hands stretched out to her. "I know I'm different from my other self but that doesn't mean we can't have fun and have a giggle like we did before. Just give me time to adjust and I'll be right as rain in no time. Okay?"

Clara nodded and put her hands in his. The Doctor smiled tenderly and closed his hands, squeezing hers while he thanked her. Clara stared at his face, his warm smile and beautiful eyes and was struck by how dark the eyes looked a second ago when he yelled at her. They looked almost black but perhaps that was the shock of having her best friend scream at her that made her see that so she dismissed it as her imagination.

"And I know that we're heading away from the TARDIS into heaven knows what," the Doctor continued gently while he held her hands. "But as I said before, those creatures might come back. Besides, something usually happens when I go walking so perhaps we'll find someone. But if not, we can enjoy the day on an alien planet and have a nice stroll, is that alright?"

"Sounds fantastic," Clara said sincerely.

The Doctor smiled warmly and Clara finally saw a hint of the Doctor she had come to love. She didn't resist when this Doctor drew her near for a tight hug and they stood there together, hugging one another.

"I am a good man, Clara, I promise that," the Doctor murmured as he held her. "I won't disappoint you, just give me some time."

"I will, Doctor. I won't leave," Clara said.

The Doctor smiled and rubbed her back affectionately. Clara stood there with him and breathed in the unfamiliar scent of this new Doctor. The other Doctor used to hug her and she'd become accustomed to his pleasant scent, soap, shampoo and something indefinable that she always thought of as the scent of the universe. This new Doctor smelled a bit dodgy but it wasn't overpowering and she figured it was because he hadn't had a shower yet. But even so, there was still the hint of the universe smell that helped her to calm down and realize that this was the same man who asked her to travel with him nearly a year ago.

"So, are we ready?" the Doctor said as he broke off the embrace and stepped back.

"Ready," Clara said.

The Doctor turned to go and looked down when Clara took his hand. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand before the two of them continued their hike away from the TARDIS.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	6. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Six

"And this Valeyard guy is really bad, yeah?" Rose asked.

"He only tried to have the Doctor tried for treason then have him killed so he could steal his lives," Gaz said and Rose's eyes widened. "See, that's why I didn't want to tell you. I don't want you to hate him…or me."

"Why the hell would I hate you? You, Gary Nicholas Lachlan, are the most loving and caring man I know. Who went with Pete when he went to the President to stop those alien panther cubs from being killed?"

"That was me."

"And when the owners of said cubs came to get them, who got hugged by three, very happy children for getting their pets back?"

"That was also me."

"Who introduced Torchwood to banana, sausage and spicy mustard sandwiches?"

"That was me as well, but I'm the only one who likes them," Gaz said with a small smile.

"Finally, who was it who stayed by my mother's side when Pete had triple bypass surgery and spent nights on the computer researching what kind of care and diet Pete was going to need?"

"Me," he said and she slid her arms around him, hugging him.

"So stop thinking I hate you. I don't. I'm glad you told me about this Valeyard wanker," she said and Gaz gently kissed her lips.

"Ok, but I'm still concerned about the Doctor. I'm not sure, but I have a feeling things have really gone potty for him."

"All the more reason for us to go find him," Rose said as Gaz nodded when the TARDIS made a soft grumbling sound and he looked at the ceiling. When the TARDIS first made contact with him, he realized she only spoke in Gallifreyan and it took him a while before he could understand what she was telling him. "What's wrong?"

"She says she wants to try something," he said as he walked around the console and looked at the screens. "The trouble is she might blow all her circuits doing it."

"You mean it'll kill her?" Rose said as she gently patted one of the corals.

"It might kill us as well...or it'll destroy both universes."

"Then maybe she shouldn't do it."

"If there was only a way to contact his TARDIS," he said, looking at the screen. "She might be able to help us."

"Can we do that?"

"I don't…," Gaz said then his eyes went wide. "It can't be."

Rose watched her husband moving around the console as he pushed buttons, typed on the keyboard, checked screens and ran his fingers through his hair. He seemed to be prancing as he spun on the balls of his feet and flicked his hands in the air.

"Yes, that's perfect," he said and she gave him a confused look.

"What is?"

"Even though our universes are sealed, signals from the TARDIS can still travel through the vortex."

"So you can contact her!" she said and he gave her a wide grin.

"Exactly," he said then looked at the screen. "The problem is my Gallifreyan is a little rusty."

"Well, go ahead," she said as he cracked his knuckles then typed on the keyboard and his tongue stuck out between his teeth.

"Done," he said while moving his arm with a flourish and she softly laughed. "Now all we have to do is wait to see if it worked."

A few minutes later the screen beeped as he looked at the screen and took the black frame glasses off. Rose got off the jump seat when she walked to him and he slid his arms around her waist.

"Did it work?" Rose asked while he put the glasses in his pocket and gave her a stunned look.

"Of course it worked, Rose Marion Tyler-Lachlan," he said with a grin. "I am a genius!"

"So what are we supposed to do?" she asked and he looked at the screen.

"Do you see this swirling squiggle?" he asked as he pointed to the white, swirling light on the screen and she nodded her head. "THAT is a vortex whirlpool!"

"Aren't whirlpools dangerous?"

"Yep," he said and she softly smiled as he popped the "p". "But, if we sail to the heart of the whirlpool, we will gently float down as if we were in a lift."

"What if we don't?"

"Oi, Miss Doubting Doo, enough of the negativity," he said then started pushing buttons, moving levers, flipped switches and turned switches. He looked at the screen then at Rose with a smug look and she smiled, rolling her eyes. "Right, here we go. Allons-y!"

Pulling on the hand break, Gaz smiled as the TARDIS moved through the vortex when the TARDIS moved toward the vortex whirlpool then rose upward.

"So far so good," Gaz said, looking at the screen. The TARDIS moved over the edge of the whirlpool then started shaking and Rose gave him a worried look. "Ah, I didn't say there wasn't going to be a little turbulence."

"A little turbulence?" she asked as the TARDIS shook and shimmied and she held onto the console. Gaz looked at the screens as he typed on the keyboard and winced when a short spark of electricity shocked his right index finger. Sucking quickly on his finger, he shrugged then pushed a few buttons and the TARDIS softly hummed around them. The whirlpool swirled violently below the TARDIS while the TARDIS moved over the center of the whirlpool and Gaz pumped his fist in the air.

"Yes!" he said as he checked the readings on the screens then looked at Rose, arching his eyebrows up. "Well, here goes nothing!"

Rose held tightly onto the console when Gaz pushed the buttons and the TARDIS sank into the heart of the whirlpool and a loud rushing sound filled the control room. Gaz laughed while Rose held her hands over her ears and blue/white light crackled inside the whirlpool.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	7. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Seven

After an hour of walking, the Doctor and Clara had reached the woods. By now, the TARDIS was tiny and far away. Also, nothing had happened, despite what the Doctor said but she wasn't going to say anything and risk his anger again. She was about to step into the forest when the Doctor put his hand on her shoulder.

"No, let's rest a moment, Clara," he said to her as he pointed to a fallen tree just inside the tree line.

Clara nodded and followed him as he stepped inside the forest. The tree had fallen and caught against another tree so the tree was resting at a twenty degree angle. Clara put her hand on the trunk, testing its stability before she sat down beside the Doctor. There was birdsong in the trees above them and thankfully no lizard birds. After scanning their surroundings and making sure there was no danger, Clara relaxed and enjoyed the forest. Here, the grass was still pale yellow but there were darker yellow growths around the trees and in the shady spots. It was very pleasant and she was happy to be sitting with her best friend on a lovely sunny day. She glanced at the Doctor and noticed he was silent with a pensive look on his face while he stared into space.

"Penny for your thoughts," she said.

The Doctor smiled and looked at her.

"Just thinking about this regeneration and how in many ways, it's a miracle. There's only one other person that I've known that's exceeded thirteen lives before."

"Oh? Who?"

"He called himself the Master."

"Time Lord?" Clara said.

The Doctor nodded.

"Is that how people are named on your planet. They use English words?" she asked.

The Doctor chuckled.

"No. We have Gallifreyan names but I chose to call myself the Doctor because I decided to help people. The Master…well, he wanted to rule over people and hey presto, he chose to call himself that."

"Sounds like an unpleasant person," Clara said.

"Yes, he was. But not always…"

He trailed off while he stared into space again. Clara mulled that over while the Doctor was lost in his own thoughts. She vaguely remembered the Time Lords from her scant memories of being on Gallifrey. When she stood with the Doctor and stared at the Time War painting, she knew about it from those memories but other than that, she had never run into another Time Lord before. Someone with the name, Master, sounded dodgy and she hoped that they would never meet him. Especially if he had the ability to cheat death as her Doctor had.

And he wouldn't have done that if she hadn't asked the Time Lords to intervene. It chilled her to the bone thinking that he wouldn't have done it himself and if she hadn't thought of it, he would have lain dead in the heart of Christmas and the TARDIS probably would have leaked out and grown just like it did when they first saw his grave on Trenzalor. Was he a bit resentful that she had interfered and went against his wishes? He didn't seem resentful but she knew he was also a master at concealing his feelings so it was hard to tell. But after mulling that over for a few minutes, she decided to ask him. When she did, the Doctor was jerked from his reverie and gave her a shocked look.

"Am I resentful of you for the extra lives?" he said to her.

"Yes. You didn't want me to interfere but I did it anyway. Are you angry at that?"

"Well, I suppose not since I really didn't want to die in the first place," the Doctor said. "The reason I was against you helping was because I didn't want you to die. I was just protecting you so you didn't end up lying alongside me. I am happy to be alive, Clara."

"Good. Because my heart woulda broken if you had died," she said.

The Doctor smiled and patted her hand affectionately.

"Are you still sorting out who you are?" Clara said.

The Doctor nodded.

"But it is becoming clearer with each moment and my memories are returning as well."

"Your memories were gone? " Clara said.

"Sometimes the shock of regeneration jars the mind and there is a bit of amnesia. That's why I wasn't sure how to fly the TARDIS at first. As the mind heals, the memories return. At least most of them do. I'm sure I've lost a few memories through the years but I know who you are and that you're the Impossible Girl and that you're supposed to be traveling with me. The rest will sort itself out in time."

Clara nodded and smiled when the Doctor patted her hand again. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed again while the Doctor returned to his thoughts.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Rose breathed a sigh of relief when the TARDIS finally stopped moving and powered down. She looked at Gaz who was releasing his death grip on the TARDIS console.

"We landed, yeah?" she said to him.

"That's putting it mildly, yes," Gaz said as he straightened his outfit. "I hate doing that to her but at least she's not old and dodgy like the other Doctor's TARDIS."

"So are we back in the other universe then?" Rose said. "Is there even a universe left?"

"Now, Rose, you should know better than to question my brilliance. Of course there's a universe left, you silly muppet."

"Oh?" Rose teased. "And how do you know that without looking, Mister Clever?"

"Because I declare it to be so and my word is law!" Gaz said pompously.

"Okay, your godliness, going over to check then," Rose said, getting up and walking to the door.

"You dare to question me, Ape?" Gaz teased as he followed her. "I am all knowing, all seeing…"

"All banging on," Rose interrupted as she reached the door.

She gasped when Gaz seized her from behind and held her tightly around the waist.

"You have a cheeky mouth, you know that, Misses?" he said to her.

"And you have an arrogant, pompous mouth, Mister," Rose teased back, loving the feel of his arms around her.

"I have to be arrogant and pompous. You need a god to worship, right?"

He grinned when Rose snorted at that and peered over her shoulder while she opened the door. Sunlight streamed in the door and a light breeze moved their hair.

"Well…seems I was right after all, my acolyte," Gaz said, as he pointed over her shoulder.

"How d'ya know it isn't Heaven then?" Rose teased as she pointed out the door.

"Cause that would be silly," Gaz said. "I told you what I say is so and this isn't Heaven."

"Mm, if you say so, my god!" Rose said before she stepped away from his embrace and headed out the door.

Gaz stepped outside with her and looked at Rose who was now looking off to the left. He followed her gaze and saw the TARDIS was ten feet away from them. They were standing in a field of pale yellow grass with a forest in the distance.

"See, I am awesomely awesome. There's the TARDIS now," Gaz said, stepping past her.

"If it's even the right TARDIS," Rose added as she followed him.

"Oh, ye of little faith," Gaz said.

He put his hand on the door handle and Rose winced when he jerked it away in shock.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"The door handle is hot, blazing hot," he said, examining his hand.

"What? Why? Is the TARDIS on fire?" Rose said, alarmed.

Gaz held up one finger and put his hand on the side of the police box. He closed his eyes for a moment in silent communication with the ship while Rose watched. After thirty seconds, he took his hand away and shook his head.

"No, she's been injured…badly. They crashed landed here and she's undergoing extensive repairs and updates. She made the handle too hot to handle so we can't enter in the middle of it."

"And the Doctor?" Rose said with dread.

"He's alive. She said he and some woman called Clara walked off while she was doing this. Walked off that way," he said, pointing to the forest in the distance. "I don't see them. So they must have reached the forest by now."

"Should we use the TARDIS and follow them?" Rose asked.

"Not yet. Let our TARDIS rest awhile. Going across the void is a strain and she needs to recover."

"What do we do then?"

"Let me try to contact him. Hopefully, I have enough of a Time Lord mind to do it."

Rose fell silent and watched while he closed his eyes and concentrated.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clara sat beside the Doctor and watched as a little rabbit creature fed on some of the grass nearby. It was tiny with reddish brown fur and floppy ears. The Doctor hadn't said anything and she left him to his thoughts but suddenly his eyes widened and he lurched upright.

"No, that's not possible!" he said to himself as Clara stood up with a frown on her face.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	8. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Eight

"Doctor, what's the matter?" Clara asked. She didn't like her friend being upset, but the look on his face was that of pure shock.

"They can't be here," he said as he stood up and looked toward the horizon.

"Who can't be here?" Clara asked, standing up. "Don't tell me it's the Daleks."

"No, it's someone far worse," he said as he started walking and Clara ran to catch up with him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Any luck, Oh Godly One?" Rose asked when Gaz opened his eyes and folded his arms over his chest.

"I thought I made a connection with him, but I was cut off," he said then turned to look at the Doctor's TARDIS. He closed his eyes again as he felt the TARDIS entering his mind and memories of the Time War painting entered his head. "Blimey, I remember that."

"What are you seeing?" she asked as he opened his eyes.

"It's something the Doctor did a short time ago," Gaz said then smiled, clapping his hands. "Ok, enough standing around, let's go!"

"Are we going to go look for the Doctor?"

"All in good time, Wifey of Mine, all in good time," he said and she rolled her eyes. She followed him back to the TARDIS when he walked inside and slammed the door in her face.

"Oi, watch it," she shouted and he opened the door again, looking at her.

"Sorry, I'll be right out," he said then closed the door again. She leaned against the side of the TARDIS when a low rumbling sound filled the air and she looked at the doors. The doors flew open while Gaz howled and the TARDIS expanded to allow an all-terrain bike to sail outside. The wheels hit the ground with a low thud as he bounced in the seat and held tightly onto the handlebars. "Oh, yeah, that's the only way to travel. Well almost."

"Where did you get that?" Rose asked as she walked closer and he took the TARDIS blue helmet off.

"The guys at the lab bought it for me for my birthday," he said with a wide grin.

"I don't remember seeing it in the garage."

"That is because I parked it in the TARDIS. Knew you and your mum wouldn't let me keep it," he said and bounced on the seat. "I made a track room so I could learn how to ride it properly."

"So that's how you really broke your wrist," Rose said as he looked at his left wrist and shrugged.

"Care for a ride, Honey Bunny?" he asked as he held up a pink helmet and wiggled the helmet back and forth.

"I must be mad," she said then took the helmet. Placing the helmet on her head, she slid behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Just take it….!"

"Geronimo!" Gaz shouted as he started the engine and the all-terrain bike sailed through the yellow grass.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Doctor, slow down," Clara said as the Doctor slowed to a stop and she panted, placing her hands on her thighs.

"Sorry," he said as he looked around, but saw nothing only yellow grass. Suddenly the lizard birds darted through the yellow grass as he placed Clara behind him, but the lizard birds ran straight pass them and vanished into the forest. "What?"

"Doctor, look," Clara said as the all-terrain bike sailed through the grass and the Doctor couldn't believe his eyes. The all-terrain bike stopped inches from him when Rose and Gaz took their helmets off and Gaz ran his fingers through his hair.

"It can't be," Clara thought as Rose placed the helmets on the hooks on the back of the seat and Gaz placed the kick stand down. Getting off the all-terrain bike, he folded his arms over his chest and looked at the Doctor.

"Miss me?" Gaz asked while Rose stood next to him and he placed his arm around her waist. "Correct that. Miss us?"

"What are you doing here?" the Doctor demanded and they saw the anger in his eyes. "Do you have any idea what you have done?"

Gaz frowned as Clara walked closer and he gave her a small smile.

"Ah, you must be Clara," he said then made a little bow. "I am Gary Nicholas Lachlan. Pleased to meet you."

"Knock it off, Casanova," Rose said while rolling her eyes and gently smacked his bottom.

"Oi, hands off the bottom," he said, placing his hands protectively over his ass.

"Uh, pleased to meet you," Clara said. She had thought Gaz was the Doctor in his tenth life, but the person standing before her was totally bonkers. "Are you Rose?"

"Yes, I am," Rose said.

"But he isn't the Doctor," she said, pointing to Gaz.

"Well, I am, but I'm not," Gaz said with a cheeky smile. "Did he ever tell you about the Doctor/Donna?"

"No," Clara said and Gaz blinked his eyes a few times.

"You never told her about me?" he asked, but the Doctor just glared at him. Gaz thought back to what the TARDIS had shown him about the Time War painting and sighed. "You forgot all about us."

"No," the Doctor finally said. "I never forgot Rose."

"But you forgot about me," Gaz said then lowered his head and walked off.

"Gaz, where are you going?" Rose asked then looked at the Doctor and gave him a look that would have made Jackie proud. "Is he right? Have you forgotten about him?"

"No, I haven't forgotten," the Doctor said as anger bubbled inside him. "If it wasn't for him, Donna would still be traveling with me."

Clara had seen all of his companions so she knew who Donna was and she looked from the Doctor to Gaz. She knew it wasn't safe for Gaz to go off on his own as she ran to catch up with him and saw him sitting down on a large rock. She came to a stop as she watched him hold his right hand in his left hand and she slowly walked closer.

"Are you ok?" she asked, making him jump then turn to look at her.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Right as rain, me."

"You're a worse liar than he is," she said as he moved over a bit and she sat down. "So, who are you?"

"I told you. I'm Gary or Gaz, if you like," he said and she gently nudged him.

"That's not what I mean. You look just like he did in his tenth life."

"How do you know that? Were you traveling with him then?"

"No," she said then sighed. "I was sort of able to see all his lives and those who traveled with him. In fact, if it wasn't for me, he'd be dead right now."

"What did you do?"

"He was dying and I asked the Time Lords to save him."

"But the Time Lords are dead," he said then remembered what the TARDIS showed him. "Oh, wait, no they're not. So they saved him?"

"Yeah, and rebooted his lives."

"So that's why I got sick," he said to himself and she gave him a confused look. "See, recently I became deathly ill and spent a month in a coma. When I came out of my coma, I realized the Doctor had regenerated a second time."

"You got sick the other time he regenerated?"

"Yep," Gaz said, popping the "p".

"But I don't understand. What are you?"

"If you want to get technical, I am something called a meta-human crisis. I am a combination of the Doctor and Donna's DNA."

"You're their kid?" she asked, wide eyed.

"No, nothing like that," he said then laughed, rolling his eyes. "I'm more like a clone. More to the point…I am the Doctor. I have his thoughts, his memories, his…everything. The only difference is I only have one heart and one life. I can't regenerate."

"How were you…born?" she asked and he thought she looked cute when she got flustered.

"Did he ever tell you about his fight with the Sycorax?"

"No."

"The Sycorax had arrived on Christmas Day shortly after he regenerated into his tenth life and he had to fight their leader for the sake of the planet. They were using swords and the Sycorax leader cut the Doctor's right hand off," Gaz said and wiggled the fingers of his right hand at her. "I'm still not sure who found the hand or how Torchwood got hold of it, but…"

"I know what Torchwood is," she said and he smiled, gently tapping the tip of his finger against the tip of her nose.

"Little Miss Brilliant, that's who you are," he said and she smiled. "To get back to my story, a friend of the Doctor's got hold of the hand and returned the hand to the Doctor. Now, instead of putting the hand somewhere safe, he goes and shoves the jar the hand is in under the console like some overnight bag. Want to know what happens next? The Master gets…"

"You know the Master?"

"I never had the pleasure of meeting him in person, but I know who he is."

"The Doctor said he was dangerous," Clara said and he sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Yeah, he was," Gaz said then smiled. "Anyway, the Master gets ahold of the hand, uses it to turn the Doctor into a Yoda rip-off, but the Doctor got the hand back after he became young again and put the jar back under the console. The jar stayed there for a bit then Donna gets into trouble. The TARDIS was exploding all around her and, scared as she is, she couldn't help notice the jar. Instead of picking the jar up to take a good look at the hand, she touches the jar and…poof…here I am."

"But how can touching the jar turn the hand into…you?"

"That's the thing, we don't really know. It could have been an exchange of genetic material or some sort of bio-electric transfer or just a bloody miracle. The only thing I know is Donna and I became like the same person. We both were human, well, I was half-human/half Time Lord, and we shared a Time Lord mind. We were able to help the Doctor and brought everyone home."

"Why would he want to forget you?"

"I'd rather not talk about that."

"Ok, but why was he so upset?"

"Well, in order to make sure I didn't get into trouble, he sent us to another dimension and sealed the dimension so we'd stay there," Gaz said and Clara gasped. Could her friend really do something like that? She looked deeply into Gaz' chocolate brown eyes as he titled his head and she stood up. "You don't believe me."

"I'm not sure what I believe," Clara said and he stood up, holding his hand out.

"Then let's go ask him," he said as Clara took his hand and they walked back to Rose and the Doctor.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	9. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Nine

While Clara was with Gaz, Rose was trying to get the Doctor to talk to her. He had turned his back on her and walked into the forest so Rose followed him, calling his name as she trailed after him.

"Damn it, Doctor, turn around and face me!" she finally growled at him.

She stopped a few seconds after he didn't turn around and for a moment, Rose thought he wasn't going to. But then he slowly turned and Rose backed up slightly at the raw anger on her former lover's face.

"Why can't you just stay put?" he growled at her.

Rose was struck dumb for a few seconds, not sure if she heard him right. Then anger welled up within her and her expression matched the Doctor's.

"It wasn't my idea," Rose growled back. "My husband and I wanted to explore. We built a bloody TARDIS for that purpose…"

"And you could have destroyed two universes when you crossed over the void, Rose!" the Doctor bellowed at her. "You never bloody think things through! And now I doubt if the two of you can ever go back!"

"We don't wanna go back!" Rose yelled back, knowing she sounded like a petulant child but anger had overtaken her and she didn't care. "You think you can do what you like to anyone you wish! Neither of us wanted to go back but no, the high and mighty Time Lord made the decision for us! Well, things don't always go your way, Doctor!"

Now it was the Doctor's turn to be stunned. He tried to say something to Rose but she stomped off to the left, further into the forest while she wept softly. By now, Gaz and Clara were just inside the tree line. Clara was staring at him with mouth agape and Gaz had a look of silent fury on his face. Their expressions were enough to calm him down and bring him to his senses and he quickly turned and ran after Rose, trying to explain his behavior. While he was doing that, Clara half stumbled over to the fallen tree while Gaz watched her. He glanced over at the Doctor, his eyes narrowing, and he was about to follow him when he heard Clara muttering to herself about what could be wrong with the Doctor. Curiosity got the best of him and he decided to find out what she meant and calm down at the same time. He slowly approached Clara who was sitting on the fallen tree, staring at the ground with a bewildered look on her face. When he got close, she looked up at him.

"Is this what happens when Time Lords change?" Clara asked Gaz. "Their personality changes?"

"Sometimes," Gaz said, putting his hands in his pockets while he studied her.

"He wasn't like this," Clara said, raising her head and watching while the Doctor spoke to Rose about thirty feet away, "he was more fun to be around and he didn't have a temper like this. The Doctor I knew didn't yell like that, at least not to me. He's changed and I don't think I like the change."

"How long ago did he change" Gaz said gently.

"About a day or so, maybe less. It's been a blur to be honest."

"Look…Clara, there's a period of adjustment…for both him and you. He's trying to sort himself out and find out who he is. I know it's confusion and scary but…I'm sure he'll adjust and you'll like him just as much as you did the other Doctor."

"But he left you behind, you and Rose. How could he do that?"

Gaz sighed, trying to keep his slowly ebbing anger from spouting up again.

"He…had his reasons," he said, trying to convince himself as much as her, "He means well. He may not always make the right choices but he means well in the end. I wasn't a saint but then neither is he. Perhaps the universe isn't big enough for two Doctors, at least in his mind. And he loved Rose deeply, still does I wager. It was better to pretend to forget and not speak about it rather than dwell on what he did and bring up painful memories. I suspect that's why he never told you about me. Because telling you about me would mean he'd have to explain about Rose and that's the last thing he wanted."

"So what happens now" Clara said.

"Dunno. I suppose me and misses will swan off in search of adventure and keep our distance from you lot. If we do that, perhaps he'll be able to forgive us and move on with his life. But don't let this stop you from traveling with him. Just give him time, Clara. He'll sort himself out in time and you'll get along with him like a house on fire. You'll see."

Clara nodded. He told Gaz about Eleven phoning her and saying the same thing and Gaz chuckled at that.

"Yup, he's a clever one. He knew you'd have a difficult time. Just trust him, the other him and listen to him. I'm sure he'll be alright."

Clara nodded and Gaz sighed as he sat down beside her and watched the Doctor and Rose.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, the Doctor had caught up to Rose, grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I never should have yelled at you but you keep on making foolish, reckless choices and one of these days the universe really will collapse. When I told you that at Bad Wolf Bay, I wasn't saying it just to keep you in the other universe. I meant it!"

Rose wiped at her moist cheeks.

"I know, I just…that time when we built the cannon. I did want to find you but we also had an emergency. The stars were going out."

"Yes, I understand that but we sorted that out and I sent you back there with him so you could be with your family and also have a version of me you could grow old with. Why couldn't you have explored your own universe, Rose? Surely, it was big enough for the both of you."

"I know that, Doctor, but Gaz…he had a premonition and he had to find you before it was too late."

"Premonition of what, exactly?"

"Someone called the Valeyard, he saw it happening."

Rose's mouth dropped when all the color drained from the Doctor's face.

"Doctor," she said as he suddenly spun around and hurried back towards Gaz and Clara. "Wait!" she said, hurrying after him.

Gaz stood up and narrowed his eyes again when he noticed the Doctor was making a beeline for him with a determined look on his face. Clara jumped up, insinuating herself between him, fearful of a fight between the two men. The Doctor stopped a few feet in front of Clara, looked at her for a moment and then turned his attention to Gaz.

"I want to know about this premonition that led you to come here and you'd better explain everything to me," he said to Gaz.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	10. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 10: Chapter 10

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Ten

"It wasn't a premonition as much as it was a memory," Gaz said as the Doctor glared at him and Gaz brushed the hair from his eyes. "We were in the art gallery in my TARDIS and I was showing Rose the three dimensional paintings. We entered the one I have of Gallifrey and…"

"You have a three dimensional painting of Gallifrey?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah, anyway, we went inside the painting and were looking around when I saw you. You were in your sixth life. I still don't understand why you picked that outfit. What were you thinking? "Hey, I'm the Doctor, but I want to dress up like a bloody clown!"?"

"Get on with it!" the Doctor growled.

"I prevented Rose from seeing you and we went on our way. It was when we got to the Senate that I saw the Valeyard. I remembered who he was and he looked like…," Gaz said then lowered his head.

"Who did he look like?"

"He looked like you! Like this!" Gaz said as he waved his left hand up and down in front of the Doctor.

"And you…You think I'm going to turn into the Valeyard?" the Doctor asked with a slightly shocked look on his face.

"Well, you're acting like a first class wanker, so, yeah, I can see you changing into him," Gaz said, crossing his arms over his chest. "And the reason Rose and I came here was to see if you were alright. Do you know this latest regeneration nearly killed me?!"

"What?"

"The first time you regenerated after you left us behind, I got ill. I had a series of strong seizures then passed out. I woke up three days later. After I got better, I had this craving for fish fingers and custard for about a month and thought everything was cool," Gaz said with a small smile. "I even wore bowties for a bit. I even made this."

The Doctor watched as Gaz reached into pocket of the tan long coat when he removed a sonic screwdriver and the Doctor saw it was the same as the one he used in his eleventh life. Gaz pressed the button as the top of the sonic screwdriver moved up and the prongs spread out. He pushed the button again as the sonic screwdriver returned to normal and he put the sonic screwdriver in the pocket.

"This time though, I felt like I was dying. I have never felt pain like that. I spent a month in a coma with a high fever and some of my organs were failing. When I woke up, I was fine and that's when I realized that you had regenerated…again!"

"I didn't know…"

"Of course you didn't bloody know! You abandoned me! Ok, I know what I did, but you didn't have to chuck me out the door! Do you know how that made me feel?! I'm you! Do you hate yourself that much?! And not only do you do that to me, you do it to Rose! She cried every night for three months after we came back! Even though we were married, I felt so guilty I bloody left!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did he really leave you?" Clara asked as Rose looked at Gaz and sighed.

"Yeah, he did," Rose said then looked at her feet. "It was my fault. I couldn't handle the thought of him leaving me behind…again."

"How long were you married before he left?"

"It was two months," Rose sighed. "He asked me to marry him two weeks after we got stuck in the other world, but I wasn't ready. My mom told me that I'd come around, but I pushed him away. When he left, I was…happy."

"You were happy he was gone?" Clara asked, wide eyed.

"Yeah," Rose said with a nod. "I didn't care where he was and told my step-dad to arrange a divorce while I went to see if I could get the cannon working again. I didn't care if I tore the universe apart. I wanted to get back to the Doctor."

"What changed your mind?"

"He walked through the door," she said as she looked at Gaz and smiled. "He was wearing these tight jeans, a flannel shirt and his converse and had this dog with him. He was scruffy looking and he needed a haircut. My step-father had told me he knew where he was the whole time and had left him there until I came to my senses."

"What happened after you saw him?"

"Well, after I made him take a long shower and shave, we spent some time really getting to know each other," Rose said as Clara thought for a few minutes then blushed and they softly laughed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You left Rose?" the Doctor growled and Gaz saw anger flaring in his eyes. "I gave you to her so she could have the life I couldn't give her!"

"Well, guess what, Grandpa! She wanted a life with you! But, instead of letting her stay, you chucked her out the bloody door!" Gaz shouted.

The Doctor looked at Clara and Rose when he sighed and Gaz titled his head to one side.

"When did you come back?" the Doctor asked.

"I came back a year later. Well, Pete Tyler found me in Scotland and brought me back. I was up in the Highlands, living in this tiny fishing village. I had made friends there and even had a West White Highland Terrier. Some of the villagers thought I was gay because I didn't want to date any of the local ladies."

"What did Rose do when you came back?" the Doctor asked and Gaz looked at Rose, smiling.

"Let's just say we didn't see the outside world for a week nor did we get out of bed except to pee and shower," Gaz said and blew a kiss to Rose.

"How did you get here?"

"Ah," Gaz said as he lifted up his right hand and held up his index finger. "That was my TARDIS' idea. She found a vortex whirlpool and…"

"Are you saying you took your TARDIS into a vortex whirlpool?!"

"No," Gaz said as he elongated the "o". "We went over it then sailed down the middle. The turbulence bounced us around a bit, but we're here."

"And you may never be able to go back," the Doctor sighed and Gaz gave him a blank look.

"We don't want to," he said then thought of something. "Um, what happened to Donna?"

"She…she doesn't' travel with me anymore."

"Why?" Gaz asked as panic set in. "What happened?"

"After you two became the Doctor Donna, her mind started to burn up from all that knowledge."

"No," Gaz said as tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. He knew his half Time Lord mind could handle the knowledge, but Donna was human. "What happened to her?"

"I had to…She was…," the Doctor said and Gaz growled, balling his hands into fists.

"What did you do to her?" Gaz demanded and the Doctor sighed, wiping his face with his hands.

"I had to wipe her mind," the Doctor said softly and Gaz' mouth dropped open.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	11. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 11: Chapter 11

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Eleven

The Doctor's hearts lurched when Gaz reeled back from the revelation. All the pain he'd spent centuries burying surfaced upon seeing the tormented look on his clone's face.

"Is…is she alright?" Gaz finally said. "Please tell me she's alright."

"She's alright," the Doctor said gently. "She married another man and I made sure she had plenty of money to live comfortably on. She is back to her old self but that's better than dying."

"Yeah," Gaz murmured. "Just one moment, I need time to process this."

He turned and walked away while the Doctor watched him go with an ache in his hearts. He'd managed to put the thoughts of Donna aside and now it'd been dredged up again, opened like a fresh wound. He didn't blame his clone for needing time alone, he could use a breather himself, especially after learning that he might become the very thing he feared all these years. He sat down on the tree, taking in what his clone had said. He remembered his time during the trial and the Valeyard. He focused on the Valeyard in his mind's eye and realized that his face did resemble the stern, thin face that haunted his dreams. The Valeyard was wearing a black skullcap during that time so he couldn't see his hair but just the same…

"Time can be rewritten," the Doctor murmured to himself as he stared off into space, lost in his thoughts.

As he ruminated on that, he became aware of Rose standing near him, gazing at him with concern. He brought himself back to the present day and stared at her.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Doctor," Rose said to him.

"No, I'm sorry, Rose," the Doctor said gently. "That was uncalled for. Especially since I've been known to break a few rules myself. I can't blame you for wanting to return to the universe you came from, I just hate that you take too many reckless chances. I do worry about you still, even though you might not believe that. But are you sure this is what you want? I keep telling you that you'll never see your mother again."

"I know that but this is what I want," Rose said. "I love Mum but her idea of living a life is staying put in that mansion and living off Dad's wealth. That's not for me."

The Doctor smiled at that and nodded. He stiffened for a moment when Rose suddenly threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"I'm glad you're still here," she said in his ear, "even if you have changed."

"Thank you, Rose," the Doctor said, returning the hug. "And I am glad to see you again, even if you and your husband did take another foolish chance."

Rose kissed his cheek and smiled when the Doctor blushed. But the smile became another look of concern and she took his hand.

"What Gaz said…that can't happen, yeah? You can't be evil. You're the Doctor," Rose said, studying his face.

The Doctor smiled at that. In many ways, Rose was very worldly but in others she was very innocent. Still, it was her innocence and faith in him that he loved. It was what made him open his hearts to her all those years ago. He glanced up and noticed that Clara was behind Rose now, giving him the same worried look as Rose. He hated to lie to the people he cared about but what could he say? He didn't want to admit it to himself, let alone them. He shook his head and put on his most convincing smile.

"Time is a strange thing," he said to them. "There are many possibilities, many directions that time can go. The Valeyard is just one such direction and now that I know about it, I intend not to go that way. Perhaps that's why you were so successful in coming here," he said to Rose. "This whole meeting was meant as a warning to me and I intend to heed it."

He noticed both women relaxing at that and he smiled, hoping that what he just said was true. To be honest, he had no idea what would happen. As far as he knew, only the Master lived past thirteen lives and that was mostly because he possessed other people and benefitted from being resurrected. The fact that he was here now proved that it was possible to live past the thirteen life rule but in his youth, he had been told that the reason why it was set at thirteen was because regeneration was a strain on the mind and anyone who went past twelve regenerations tended to go insane. It was why he believed the Master had been unhinged and he had no desire to follow in his adversary's footsteps. For the moment, he seemed sane enough, at least as sane as he ever was but would that last? He made a decision not to share his fears with the others. No use worrying them over something that might not come to pass.

Another matter was Rose. He was trying to act as if her being here didn't matter, when in fact it did. That was another thing he tried to keep pushed down deep inside him. He'd been trying to do that ever since he left her and Gaz in the other universe, trying to shove his feelings for her so deep inside he wouldn't pause to reflect on what he just did. Just the sight of her though brought back all those old feelings and despite his outward appearance, he was burning with jealously inside. Especially since his clone got to marry Rose and have a life with her. He found himself resenting his clone and he kept trying to stop himself from thinking that but each time he looked at his Rose, it resurfaced. He wanted them to go away but at the same time, he wanted them to stay or Rose to stay at any rate.

And then suddenly, that thought became real because he realized that Gaz was calling to Rose, telling her they were going while he said goodbye to Clara.

"Wait, where are you going?" the Doctor said, jumping up.

"We're not wanted here," Gaz said. "Rose and I should be getting on. We'll promise not to cross paths with you in future. Come on, Rose."

The Doctor wanted to tell them to go but he found himself calling them back.

"Wait," he said to them. "Look, we got off on the wrong foot and I don't want you to leave thinking we're all enemies. Let's just…go somewhere for awhile and get to know each other. I'm sure Clara wants that."

Clara nodded, much to the Doctor's relief. He waited with baited breath while Rose and Gaz softly discussed it before Gaz nodded.

"Alright then, we'll go somewhere together and see what happens," Gaz said.

The Doctor nodded and smiled at Rose. Rose smiled back shyly and the Doctor felt another pang of jealousy when she took Gaz's hand and he squeezed it. He forced himself to smile and gestured towards the field.

"Shall we walk back then?" he said to them.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	12. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 12: Chapter 12

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Twelve

Gaz nodded as they started heading back when he turned his head and looked back and the Doctor and Clara. He was glad that Donna was alive and well and wondered if he should go see her.

"No, that would kill her," he thought with a shake of his head. "Maybe I could drop by and see Wilf."

"Penny for them," Rose said with a little nudge and he looked at her. She somehow knew when he was upset and he smiled, arching his eyebrows up and down.

"He told me that he had to mind wipe Donna's mind because she had absorb too much Time Lord knowledge," he said and Rose gasped, looking at the Doctor.

"But she's ok, yeah?" Rose asked, looking back at Gaz.

"Yeah, she's fine," Gaz said with a smile. "Nothing can keep her down for long."

"I remember the time I caught you buffing your nails," she teased and he gave her a hurt look.

"What is wrong with a little grooming? It's hard looking this good, you know," he said. She liked when he got defensive because his Scottish accent, though barely noticeable, grew thicker.

"Yeah, but that didn't explain the clear nail polish," she said then yelped when he growled and chased after her, threatening to tickle the life out of her.

Clara smiled while watched Gaz and Rose running around as Rose laughed and Gaz ran faster. She thought back to how funny and silly the Doctor was and looked at him. He was glaring at Gaz when Clara gently nudged him and he looked at her.

"They're a cute couple," she said and he nodded. "Is that how it was when you were with her? I mean, were you that playful?"

"Um, yes, there were times we were," the Doctor said then sighed. "Then she left."

"But she's here now," Clara said as he watched Rose running toward him then moved to hide behind him. Gaz came to a stop when he started panting and placed his hands on his thighs.

"Have you…," Gaz said as he tried to catch his breath and held up his right index finger. "Have you by chance seen my wife?"

"Nope, can't say that I have," Clara said when Rose giggled and Gaz' eyes widened.

"Ah, I know that giggle," he said as he moved around the Doctor and Rose moved the other way. They circled around the Doctor while Clara laughed then the Doctor rolled his eyes and grabbed hold of Rose.

"Hey, let go," Rose said as she tried to get away and the Doctor looked at Gaz.

"Here she is," the Doctor said and Gaz rubbed his hands together.

"Hold her steady, Brother, I'm going to tickle her silly," he said and the Doctor's hearts jumped in his chest and thumped widely against his sternum.

"Did he just…?" the Doctor thought then nodded his head and Gaz moved closer, wiggling his fingers toward Rose.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Rose shouted when Gaz laughed then yelped when Clara came up behind him and tickled him under his armpits.

"Hey!" he laughed, but Clara kept tickling him and Gaz collapsed onto the ground, laughing. The Doctor watched while Clara sat on top of Gaz and tickled him. "No! Stop! I'm going to piss myself!"

"No retreat! No surrender!" Clara said when Gaz gently grabbed her wrists and arched his eyebrows up.

"Gotcha!" he said when he let go and Clara screech when he started tickling her.

The Doctor didn't notice Rose had gotten loose as she tickled him in a spot only she knew and he gave her a shocked look.

"Oh, so it's like that, is it, Rose Tyler?" he asked then started tickling her and laughter echoed through the air.

It didn't take long before they found the all-terrain bike when Gaz climbed onto the seat and placed the helmet on. Rose climbed onto the seat behind Gaz as he handed her the helmet and smiled at the Doctor and Clara. With a push of a button, the all-terrain bike shimmered as two sidecars appeared and Clara saw the pink helmet on the seat. Picking up the pink helmet, she placed the helmet on and got into the sidecar. Gaz titled his head as he gently nudged Rose in the ribs and she got off the seat and went to sit in the other sidecar. She handed the Doctor the helmet as he smiled and placed the helmet on. He saw that Gaz had moved back so the Doctor could drive and the Doctor smiled, nodding his head. The all-terrain bike soared over the landscape as he smiled and Gaz cheered while holding his arms up in the air.

"So how do you want to do this?" Gaz asked after they arrived where they had left their TARDISes and the Doctor thought for a few seconds.

"Well, your TARDIS can ride in one of the storage rooms," the Doctor said and Rose and Clara frowned.

"How is that possible?" Clara asked.

"Like this," Gaz said when he walked to his TARDIS and snapped his fingers. The doors opened as he walked to the all-terrain bike, got on and rode the all-terrain bike inside then the doors closed behind him. Clara looked at the Doctor as he shrugged then Gaz' TARDIS slowly dematerialized.

"Hey, why didn't it make that wheezing and grinding sound?"

"He doesn't ride with the parking brake on. Unlike a certain Time Lord," Rose teased and the Doctor shivered. River Song teased him about doing that and he sighed. A few seconds later, the door to the TARDIS opened and Gaz walked out, leaning on the doorframe.

"You redecorated," Gaz said, looking back over his shoulder. "I don't like it."

"Shut it, you," Rose said as he stood back and she walked by him. Clara smiled as she rolled her eyes while walking by him and he stuck his tongue out. The Doctor walked to him when Gaz made a little bow and the Doctor walked by him. Gaz closed the door while the Doctor walked to the console and Rose stood next to him. "Need any help?"

"All I can get," the Doctor said with a little smile and Gaz titled his head to one side. Having the Doctor's memories and feelings, he knew the Doctor was jealous of what they had, but he knew that Rose was the only one who could keep the Doctor from becoming the Valeyard and swore he would make sure that his…

"Like it or not, Gaz, he is your brother," he thought then walked closer and stood next to the Doctor.

"So, where shall we go? We could go somewhere exotic and see if we can find a lost temple filled with treasure or we could go somewhere tropical and sip cold cocktails while trying not get sunburned or we could…," Gaz said when Rose walked to him and cover his mouth with her hand.

"You could let him answer, yeah?" she said then lowered her hand and Gaz pouted, going around to the other side of the Doctor.

"See how she treats me? She's mean," Gaz said as he stuck his tongue out and the Doctor looked at Rose then back at him.

"How old are you?" he asked.

"Well, if you want to be picky. On my identification, I am forty-two. If you go by how long I've been alive, I've five," Gaz said and held up five fingers."

"Then you shouldn't be driving that bike," Clara said and his eyes widened.

"I will have you know I only crashed once on that bike," he said with a smug look on his face and Clara laughed.

The Doctor looked at them as the darkness inside his mind started to fade and he shook his head.

"Right," he said as he looked at the console and started pushing buttons, turning switches and flicked levers. They watched him moving around the console when he placed his hand on the handbrake then looked at Gaz. With a nod, Gaz walked to him and placed his hand on top of the Doctor's hand. They pulled on the handbrake as the low wheezing and grinding sound filled the air and the TARDIS dematerialized.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	13. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Thirteen

The Doctor tried to hide his discomfort while Gaz dematerialized on top of his TARDIS, putting it in storage while it continued to repair herself. Gaz's TARDIS had an interior similar to the one he had in his ninth and tenth lives, a design he hadn't had for centuries and it felt odd to be standing inside it. Even odder was the fact that he was now traveling with his former lover and clone while they prepared for takeoff. Despite the fun they had earlier, he still had some reservations about traveling with his clone and especially with Rose. Looking at her stirred up old feelings that he would rather keep buried.

He noticed Clara looking his way and forced a smile onto his face as she walked up to him.

"Hey, are you alright?" she asked.

"Fine, I'm fine, Clara," he replied, not sure that sounded convincing. "Just strange being here with my clone, traveling with him in his TARDIS."

"Not used to being in somebody else's TARDIS?" Clara teased.

The Doctor smiled at that and nodded.

"You'll adjust, big boy," Clara said with a playful poke to his side.

The Doctor watched as she walked away.

"I hope so," he muttered to himself as he leaned back against one of the coral support columns.

Clara walked over to Rose who was sitting on the jump seat, watching while her husband plotted out their destination. She liked Rose. Not only was she a friendly woman but she loved finding someone who had traveled with the Doctor before her. It was nice to be able to swap stories with someone who had been there and knew what it was like to travel with an alien. She sat down beside her and Rose gave her a warm smile while Gaz circled around his console.

"So…when did you first meet the Doctor then?" Clara asked her.

"His ninth life. I was working at Henrick's Department Store and there was some autons…living plastic beings that were posing as mannequins. They were in the basement and I was down there with them and they were about to kill me when the Doctor took my hand and told me to run. Been running ever since. You?"

"I met him during his previous life," Clara said. "I actually rang him because a lady in a shop gave me the phone number to the TARDIS and he located me because of that."

"A lady in a shop had the Doctor's phone number? Who was it? Where was it?" Rose said in amazement.

"It was a shop called Sparrow and Nightingale and her name was Sally Sparrow. Used book shop but the woman's fiancé also knew quite a bit about computers. I was in there trying to find a book for a friend and she was minding the shop and we were talking and I mentioned I was having trouble logging on to the internet and she gave me the number. Lord knows where she got it from. Maybe she traveled with the Doctor at some point," she said with a shrug. "But I rang the Doctor when I couldn't access the internet and I reminded him of someone he'd met before…twice, actually. So he came round and introduced himself. He saved me from this…internet cloud. People's souls were being uploaded into this cloud thing and I was part of it and the Doctor made them download the entire thing to save me. He then asked me to come with him and I've been with him for about a year now. And then this happened and he changed and suddenly he's not the same man I knew. It's very strange."

"I went through that as well," Rose said, nodding. "The Doctor also regenerated in front of me. Of course the git didn't explain it and I was terrified at first. Thought he'd been kidnapped or something."

"Yeah, the Doctor's not really one for explaining things," Clara said. "Apparently, you need to know everything that's going on by osmosis or something like that."

"What was he like before?" Rose said. "The previous Doctor. I don't think I ever met him. Gaz is a copy of the tenth Doctor…"

"And he's the twelfth Doctor," Clara said, gesturing to her Doctor as he leaned up against the support column. "At least…I think he is. There was another Doctor, a hidden one, but the Doctor said he didn't call himself the Doctor during that time so he doesn't count him and then the tenth Doctor regenerated but kept the same body and that counts as a life also."

"I was there for that. The time the tenth Doctor regenerated and kept the same body," Rose said. "But he said he didn't go all the way with it so I figured he stopped the process."

"My Doctor said it counted," Clara said. "But he was on his last life and I managed to ask the people of Gallifrey to help him so he could continue living and they gave him a whole new set of lives."

Rose gazed at the Doctor, thankful that his people had helped him to cheat death. The Doctor felt her gaze and turned his attention to her. Rose smiled and the Doctor smiled at her in return. Then suddenly a hologram of another man appeared in front of her and Clara. The man was dressed in a Victorian outfit with a long purple jacket and bow tie. His brown floppy hair peeked out from under a bright red fez on top of his head. The Doctor leaned up as Gaz stopped what he was doing and froze.

"This is the Doctor's eleventh life," Clara said loudly as she gestured to it. "Rose wanted to know what you looked like before you regenerated," he added as the Doctor and Gaz walked towards it.

Rose stood up and the Doctor studied her reaction while she walked around the hologram.

"Wow, you were quite young," Gaz said to the Doctor.

"Yes, I was," the Doctor replied.

"What's this on top of your head?" Rose said, pointing up.

"A fez," the Doctor and Clara said in unison.

"You wore a fez" Rose said, amused, as she turned towards the Doctor.

"Fezzes are cool," Clara said while the Doctor grinned. "As are fish custard, bow ties, thongs…"

"I did not say thongs were cool, Clara Oswald," the Doctor said while the women giggled.

"What was wrong with your hair and where are your eyebrows at?" Rose teased as she stared at Eleven's face. "And why are you dressed like Charles Dickens?"

"I liked that outfit, thank you very much," the Doctor said in exasperation while the women laughed harder.

Suddenly, the hologram changed and now the Doctor was wearing his original tweed outfit. Rose made a face.

"Okay, I never saw this outfit," Clara said, gesturing to it.

"Wish I could unsee it," Rose said. "Tweed, ugh!"

They laughed when the Doctor threw up his hands in exasperation. He noticed Gaz was trying to be polite but he was still shaking with inner laughter. Then the hologram shifted again and this time Eleven was wearing the bottom half of a Winnie the Pooh costume. His head was exposed and the fez was back on, making him look odd.

"And you actually wore this in public then?" Clara said, pointing to the Pooh costume.

"No, that's the TARDIS having a giggle at my expense," the Doctor said while the women bent over laughing.

He watched as the women roared with laughter and cracked a smile.

"And if you know what's good for you, you'll behave or I really will put this on," he said to them as he pointed to the costume.

"Oh yes, do! I dare ya!" Rose said.

"Yeah, go put it on now!" Clara said.

They laughed harder at the peeved look on the Doctor's face. The Doctor looked at Gaz and he smiled and shrugged.

"Should know better than to say something like that, mate," he said to the Doctor while the Doctor slowly shook his head in exasperation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After the hologram disappeared, Rose and Clara sat back down and talked softly, sharing stories while Gaz and the Doctor worked the console. As the Doctor worked, he kept noticing that Gaz was looking at him from time to time with an odd look on his face. After twenty minutes of this, the Doctor finally asked him what was wrong.

"You look familiar to me," Gaz said. "Your face, seems like I've seen it somewhere before."

"I have the face of Caecilius, that bloke from Pompeii" the Doctor said.

"YES, THAT'S IT!" Gaz yelled, causing Rose and Clara to look his way. "I knew I've seen your face somewhere before. But…why him?"

"I didn't choose this face, the…whatever it is that picks the face picked it for me," the Doctor said. "I'm guessing it's from my memories since I needed a new face for the reboot."

"So…the next body could be Davros then," Gaz said.

"If it is, shoot me," the Doctor said while Gaz sniggered.

They looked at the console when the TARDIS suddenly landed and powered down.

"Here we are, at our new destination," Gaz said with wide eyes. "Shall we go out and explore it?"  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	14. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 14: Chapter 14

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Fourteen

The doors to the TARDIS opened as Gaz led the way and placed his hands in the tan, long coat pockets. Unlike the Doctor's coat, the pockets weren't bigger on the inside and Rose laced her arms around his right arm. The Doctor and Clara came out of the TARDIS as Clara's eyes went wide and Gaz smiled.

Spreading out around them were large trees with thick green leaves and long vines, lush green grass and a wide variety of large flowers and mushrooms. Birdsong floated in the air around them while large, pink clouds floated lazily across the violet sky and the sunlight from the yellow sun shimmered on the leaves.

"Right, where are we?" Rose asked while Gaz looked at a large beetle with a bright blue exoskeleton move up the trunk of a large tree and she tapped his back.

"Wha'?" he asked after turning around then looked at them. "Oh, this is Lanvalli III."

"Have you ever been here before, Doctor?" Clara asked.

"No," he said and frowned at Gaz. He wasn't sure why he picked this planet and he walked to his clone. "Why are we here?"

"You asked to go on an adventure," he said with his arms out and he looked up at the large leaves overhead. "This place is perfect!"

"We have no idea where we are," the Doctor said and Gaz grinned.

"All the reason to go exploring," Gaz said then turned to Rose and smiled. "Shall we, Wife of Mine?"

"Lead the way," she said and he nudged her toward the Doctor. Rose watched Gaz take Clara's hand as he wrapped their fingers together and headed toward the bushes. Smiling, Rose walked to the Doctor when she held her hand out and wiggled her fingers. Smiling, the Doctor took her hand and a cool chill moved through him. Even with a new body, her hand fit perfectly in his and she wrapped their fingers together.

"Come on, Slowpokes," Gaz shouted as the Doctor nodded and they walked to Gaz and Clara.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This puts Avatar to shame," Clara said as they walked by trees with large patches of glowing moss on them and Gaz frowned, tilting his head to one side.

"Is that a planet?" he asked.

"No, it's a movie. Didn't they make that where you're from?"

"Nope," he said as he shook his head.

"Shame, it's a great movie," she said and he smiled at her. They walked down the path while Rose and the Doctor followed and Rose noticed the look on the Doctor's face.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked, giving his fingers a small squeeze.

"Tell me what happened after I left you and…Gaz on the beach," he said and she wondered why he paused before saying her husband's name.

"We kissed on the beach for a bit," she said and anger started nibbling at his hearts. "Then Mum came and told us that Pete was sending a helicopter for us. We went to an inn and spent the night."

"Did you…share a room with him?"

"No, Mum and I shared a room. He didn't want me to feel uncomfortable being in the same room with him."

"I wouldn't have minded," he said softly and she nodded her head.

"Doctor, look, I know that you loved me…"

"I still do," he said and felt her skin grow cold. "Is that wrong?"

"No," Rose said with a shake of her head. "I still love you, but not the way I used to."

"So what we had meant nothing?!" he growled as he stopped and let go of her hand.

"Is there something wrong?" Gaz asked while half running toward them and the Doctor closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"Yes, there is something wrong. I left the love of my life with my genocidal clone when she should be with me," the Doctor thought then sighed and opened his eyes.

"It's nothing, Love," Rose said while Gaz cast a suspicious look at the Doctor then shrugged, walking back to Clara. She was looking at a large plant with blue gossamer petals and the petals moved in ripples from the cool breeze. Rose looked at the Doctor when she sighed and folded her arms over her chest. "To answer your question, what we had meant everything to me. I risked my life trying to get back to you. Every time I used the cannon, I was at risk of being torn apart. You have no idea what I saw or went through to get back."

"Does he know?" the Doctor asked, pointing to Gaz.

"He knows some of it," she sighed and brushed some hair from her eyes. "And, before you ask, I know what I was doing was dangerous. Living without you, that was killing me!"

"You don't think it wasn't killing me?!" the Doctor growled and balled his hands into fists. "Before I came back to Earth, I was thinking of opening the doors of the TARDIS and step out into the time vortex! Do you want to know what stopped me? You! I had to live for you!"

"I didn't…I…," Rose said when she slid her arms around him and held tightly onto him. Her head was against his chest as she listened to the sound of his hearts beating loudly like two war drums and she closed her eyes. The Doctor slowly slid his arms around her when he breathed deeply until his hearts slowed and she looked at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gaz looked at the Doctor and Rose hugged while Clara stood next to him and he tilted his head to one side.

"Well, so it starts," Gaz whispered and Clara gave him a confused look.

"What?" she asked.

"Uh," he said as he looked at her and ruffled the back of his head with his right hand. "When he came to Earth in his ninth life, he was a shell shocked alien who had thought he had destroyed his world."

"No, that was the one he says isn't him."

"Ah, yeah, right. Anyway, he was so broken that he didn't care if he lived or died. What saved him was Rose. She healed him in ways even I don't understand. When he regenerated into his tenth life, he was ready to live again and he could be the way he was as long as Rose was with him. When she was stuck in the other world, he started slipping back into the darkness."

'Then why did he leave her with you?" she asked and he puffed out a breath of air.

"He said it was because I could give her the life he couldn't give her because he was a Time Lord, but the real reason was because I…Well, Donna and I…we sort of committed genocide."

"You did what?"

"Do you know what a Dalek is?"

"Yes," she said with a nod of her head.

"Well, the Doctor, Rose and some other friends, as well as some other planets, were kidnapped by Davros and the Daleks and Donna was trapped on the TARDIS."

"That's when she touched the jar and you were born."

"Yep," he said as he popped the "p". "I was so angry when I remembered what happened that Donna and I went to where the Daleks were and Donna and I destroyed them and Davros."

"But the Dalkes weren't destroyed."

"They weren't?"

"Not according to him" she said and Gaz looked at the Doctor.

"Then I'm not a murderer?"

"No," she said and he blinked his eyes a few times.

"Then why does he still hate me?" he asked when something clicked in his head and he balled his hands into fists. "Come on."

Clara didn't understand why he was getting angry again as she followed him and looked back at the Doctor and Rose.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Feeling better?" Rose asked as the Doctor moved back and nodded his head. She looked to where Gaz and Clara where when she frowned and folded her arms over her chest. "Where are Gaz and Clara?"

"I don't know," he said as they headed down the trail and found Gaz and Clara standing at the edge of a clearing. Rose walked to her husband when she placed her hand against his arm and he looked at her. Hushing her, he slid his arm around her waist and she placed the side of her head against his arm.

Soft music filled the air as they looked at the rope bridges connected to the branches of the trees and wooden huts sat on platforms. Skin sacks filled with glowing bugs hung outside the doors of the wooden huts and a large wooden hut sat at the center of the glade with skulls of animals on pointed sticks encircled the hut. Wooden stalls stood near the trees while figures moved by the stalls and dried meats and baskets of fruits, nuts and vegetables were in the wooden stalls. A medium size, stone hut had smoke rising from the hole in the roof and the sound of metal being pounded filled the air.

The figures moving about the village were humanoid, but had feline features and long tails. Some of the figures had orange or white fur with black stripes, white hair and yellow or blue eyes and white fur spread down their throats, chest and stomachs. Some had tan fur and jet black hair and amber eyes and the males had tuffs of black hair on the end of their tails. Finally, there were some with jet black fur and hair and their eyes were a soft green. All of the people were lean and muscular and wore tan loin cloths or dresses and the males wore metal bands around their biceps.

"Blimey," Clara whispered and Gaz smiled, nodding his head.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	15. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 15: Chapter 15

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Fifteen

The Doctor stood in front of them as Gaz tilted his head to one side and saw the stern look in the Doctor's eyes.

"Follow me," the Doctor said softly as they headed toward the village and Gaz sighed, rolling his eyes. Rose walked next to her husband while Clara walked next to the Doctor and Gaz looked at the children playing near the trees or the large hut. The villagers watched them with suspicious looks when the curtain of the large hut parted and a large male villager walked out. His fur was so black that sunlight didn't shimmer on it and a large scar ran from his right cheek up to the top of his head. His pointy ears twitched as he tilted his head to one side and the tips of two fangs curled over his lower lip. He was wearing a dark brown loin cloth and a necklace with sharpened bones was around his neck.

"Who are you?" he growled and the Doctor slowly walked closer, locking eyes with him.

"I am the Doctor," the Doctor said and a low growl came from the large villager.

"I am M'nan'do," M'nan"do said with a small bow then looked at Clara, Rose and Gaz. "Who are they?"

"These are my companions, Rose and Clara and this is…Gaz," the Doctor said and Gaz glared at him. M'nan"do walked to Rose when he sniffed the air around her then walked to Clara and she shyly smiled at him. M'nan"do sniffed the air around her then walked to Gaz and Gaz nodded his head. M'nan"do sniffed the air around him when he looked deeply into Gaz' eyes and blinked his yellow eyes a few times. M'nan"do walked back to the Doctor when he frowned and crossed his arms over his broad chest.

"Excuse me," Clara said and M'nan"do looked at her. "What are your people called?"

"We are the Fe'na'li," M'nan"do said and Gaz softly smiled.

"And this planet is called?" he asked and M'nan"do looked at him.

"We call our world "Za'mar'ath"."

"It beautiful," Rose said and M'nan"do smiled.

"Why are you here?" he asked while looking at the Doctor.

"We are just traveling through," the Doctor said when two, large villagers walked closer and were wearing long red robes and carried wooden staffs with runes carved on the staffs and copper bells were tied to the staffs by leather straps. M'nan"do turned to look at them when one of the large villagers walked closer and whispered in low growls. M'nan"do nodded his head then looked at the Doctor then at Gaz and Rose.

"Go with them," M'nan"do said as the Doctor growled and balled his hands into fists.

"Rose isn't going anywhere," he said an Rose's eyes widened.

"What about Gaz?" she demanded and he looked at her.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he sighed and Rose grabbed hold of Gaz' hand, wrapping her fingers around his fingers. Glaring at the Doctor, Rose followed Gaz as they walked off with the two, large villagers and Clara looked at the Doctor.

"What do you think is going on?" she asked and the Doctor sighed, watching Rose and Gaz walk into the jungle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The jungle surrounded them as Gaz looked around and Rose swung their hands back and forth. Her husband hadn't said a word since they left the Doctor and Clara and she knew by the look on his face tht he wasn't going to.

"Are you alright?" she asked and he nodded his head. "I'm sure he wasn't going to let anything happen to you."

"He wasn't going to do anything period," Gaz said softly and she had a feeling that he was right. They walked in silence when the two, large figures stopped at the entrance to a large cave and one of them turned to face them.

"Enter," the large figure growled and Gaz nodded his head. Rose took the stick with a sack of glowing bugs tied to the top of the stick by leather straps as they walked in the cave and Gaz looked around. The light from the glowing bugs cast a soft glow to the white stone walls of the cave and long stalactites and stalagmites rose from the cave ceiling and floor. Water dripped into limestone pools as they walked closer and a soft moss cause the water to glow in a variety of colors. Gaz reached into the pocket of the tan long coat then removed the sonic screwdriver and pushed the buttons. He scanned the water then placed the sonic screwdriver away and scooped some of the water into his hands.

"You sure this is a good idea?" she asked and he nodded his head, sipping on the water.

"Ah, that is so good," he said and she took a drink. They walked off as Gaz looked around then felt like they were being watched and looked around. "Someone is watching us."

"Do you think it was those two outside?" she asked while wrapping her arms around his left arm and he pressed his lips together.

"Not sure, Wife Mine, but I do wish I brought my fedora," he said and she smiled. He only wore his Indian Jones cosplay outfit when they went spelunking and she wish they had the stun gun he wore in a holster around his waist. Gaz had designed the stun gun and it was used by most of the members of their Torchwood. They kept walking when they came to a large cavern and a tattered rope bridge extended across to the other side. Animal skulls decorated the ropes and the wind from somewhere rocked the rope bridge back and forth.

"You have to be kidding," Rose sighed as he smiled then arched his eyebrows up. One by one, they walked onto the rope bridge as the wood softly moaned and the rope bridge moved side to side. Neither of them looked down as they moved along then came to the other side and Gaz gave her a smile. "Oh, knock it off."

"I wasn't going to say anything!" he said then took her hand and they walked deeper into the cave.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What have you done with Rose?" the Doctor demanded and M'nan"do gave him a blank look.

"She has been sent for," M'nan"do said and the Doctor felt his hearts slamming in his chest.

"Who sent for her?"

"It was Ka'ran'i."

"Who is this Ka'ran'i?"

"That is none of your concern," he said and the Doctor's eyes went into tight slits.

"When it comes to Rose Tyler, it is my concern."

"What about Gaz?" Clara asked as he looked at her and Clara slowly backed away. The Doctor's eyes were jet black then changed to their usual color when he noticed the look of fear on her face.

"Yes, what about Gaz?" he asked, looking at M'nan"do.

"He was sent for as well," M'nan"do said.

"Will this Ka'ran'I harm them?" Clara asked.

"Only if she hadn't eaten yet," he said and the Doctor balled his hands into fists.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	16. Teaspoon :: Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

**Summary:** Twelfth Doctor and Clara and Metacrisis!Doctor/Rose. Alternate Universe. Joint fic with Carol Reidel. The Doctor has just regenerated. He's a new man and Clara hopes he will be like the other Doctor. But will he stay the same or is this new Doctor darker and more sinister?  
 **Rating:** Adult  
 **Categories:** Twelfth Doctor  
 **Characters:** Clara Oswin Oswald, The Doctor (12th)  
 **Genres:** Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Standalone  
 **Warnings:** Explicit Violence, Swearing  
 **Challenges:** None  
 **Series:** [Doctor and Clara Stories](http://www.whofic.com/series.php?seriesid=3840)  
 **Published:** 2014.06.30  
 **Updated:** 2014.08.04

 

Am I A Good Man? by cheri

Chapter 16: Chapter 16

**Author's Notes:**

* * *

  
Chapter Sixteen

The water dribbled down the walls while Gaz held onto Rose's hand and she gently squeezed his fingers. They were both tired and hungry as they walked by some large rocks when Gaz stopped and looked around.

"What's wrong?" Rose asked and he smiled, shaking his head.

"I was just wondering when Gollum was going to show up," he said and she gently shoved him.

"I knew I should never let you watch the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies," she said, rolling her eyes.

"But you're my precious," he said, doing a perfect imitation of Gollum's voice and she giggled when he put his arms around her and pulled her against him. He moved closer when he kissed her lips and she ran her fingers through his hair. She smiled after they parted then Gaz looked toward the shadows and frowned. "What was that?"

Gaz moved her behind him as he took the stick with the bag of glow bugs from her and looked toward the shadows. Something moved behind the rocks as he carefully moved closer and hushed her. He went around the rock when something moved behind him and he quickly turned around.

"It's up there," Rose said as he looked up and his eyes went wide.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

M'nan'do watched while the Doctor and Clara walked around the village and a low growl filled M'nan"do's throat. He was not sure, but the Doctor bothered him and the tip of his ears twitched.

"He's watching us," Clara said while looking back at M'nan"do, but the Doctor only looked at the trinkets of one of the stalls in the market.

"He doesn't trust us," he finally said.

"What do you think he did with Rose and Gaz?"

"I don't know. I do know they will suffer if anything happens to Rose," he said and she heard the seriousness in his voice.

"Maybe we should go back to the TARDIS and see if she can find them."

"I would, but she's his TARDIS and won't let us in."

"She might if we said he and Rose are in trouble," Clara said and he sighed.

"Alright, let's go," he said as they headed for the jungle when two, large guards appeared from behind the trees and he looked at the swords in their hands. "Mind moving?"

"You shall not leave," one of the guards said and his eyes widened.

"Get out of the way," the Doctor growled when four more guards appeared and Clara hid behind the Doctor. "Are you threatening me?"

"Yes," M'nan"do said as he walked closer and the Doctor saw the curved blade sword in his hands. Clara swallowed hard as the Doctor's eyes went into right slits and darkness churned inside him, threatening to come out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Who are you?" a soft female voice purred while Gaz looked at the tall female with gray fur with black stripes and her green eyes sparkled in the low light from the glow bugs. Her long black hair was pulled back into a braid tied by a leather cord and feathers were interwoven into the braid. She was wearing a tattered blue tunic and tan buckskin shorts and the skull of a small bird hung on a leather cord around her neck.

"You first," Gaz said as she pounced off the rock and landed silently on the ground in front of him.

"I am Ka'ran'i," she said.

"I am Gaz," he said with a small bow and she smiled.

"Gaz, you ok?" Rose asked as Ka'ran'i spun around and growled.

"Who is that?" Ka'ran'i demanded.

"That's my wife, Rose," he said when he held his hand out and she moved closer, sniffing his hand. She took his hand as they walked from behind the rock and Rose gave Gaz a slightly stunned look.

"Who is this?" Rose asked.

"This is Ka'ran'i," he said and Ka'ran'i tilted her head to one side.

"She is your mate?" Ka'ran'i asked as she walked to Rose and walked around her, sniffing the air.

"Yes," Gaz said, walking closer and took Rose's hand.

"Why are you here?"

"We don't know. One minute we were in the village...," Rose said when Ka'ran'I hissed and back away. "What's wrong?"

"Go!" she growled then ran into the shadows and Gaz looked at Rose.

"Wonder what that was all about," he said as she shrugged and wrapped her fingers around his fingers.

"Want to find out?" she asked and he nodded his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ka'ran'i hopped from one rock to the other as she growled and tears rolled down her cheeks and dripped off her whiskers. After spending years in the cave, she had thought she had finally found friends, but fate or the Great Goddess had fooled her by sending someone from…

"No, it is no longer my home," she whispered as she jumped to the next rock and growled. She came to a stop when she sat on the top of a flat top rock and wiped the tears from her eyes. Her heart slammed in her chest as she curled onto her left side and closed her eyes. She felt her body shaking as the tears came and a soft whimper filled the air.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked as Ka'ran'i jumped then sat up. Rose and Gaz stood near some rocks and Ka'ran'i tilted her head to one side.

"How did you catch up with me?" she asked and Gaz walked slowly to her then knelt down on his haunches.

"You went in a circle," he said and she lowered her head. "Why did you run from us?"

"Don't kill me," she said softly and their eyes went wide.

"Why would we want to kill you?" Rose asked.

"Those who come from…the village only come here for one thing. To kill me," she said and looked at Gaz. "You are not my people though."

"No, we were just traveling through," he said as he gently moved closer and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Why do they want to kill you?"

"Like my mother and the other female members of her litter, I have the Ca'tese'ye,"

"What is that?" Rose asked.

"I can see visions and I can read auras," Ka'ran'i said then looked at Rose. "Your aura is gold. It sparkles and smells like the M'rak'ke. That makes you a "Ba'dwol'f."."

Gaz mouthed the word a few times when he smiled and looked at Rose.

"Yes, she is," he said and Rose gave him a puzzled look. "She means you are a Bad Wolf."

"Oh," Rose said with a small smile. "What aura does my husband have?"

"His aura is red and white. That makes him a "He'kou'ra'ri". That means you are born from war, pain and blood, but you also have a good heart. You are a good soldier, but you are also a loving man and a good husband and father," Ka'ran'i said and he gave her a slightly stunned look.

"How did…how did you know about them?" he asked while looking at Rose and Ka'ran'i smiled.

"I can smell your cubs on you," she said, smiling then frowned. "I can also smell the La'zo'bi on both of you. That is another reason why I ran."

"What is that?" Rose asked as Gaz and Ka'ran'i stood up and Ka'ran'i lowered her head.

"It means "The Oncoming Storm". If he comes, he will slaughter my people," she said and Gaz and Rose gave each other a stunned look.  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=55060>


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

"I'm warning you," the Doctor said menacingly to M'nan'do as he heard the guards slowly surround him and Clara, "you don't want me for an enemy."

M'nan'do smirked at that but the look on the Doctor's face caused him to stop and keep his distance. The alien male looked strange and frail to him but he sensed a deep undercurrent of power within the Doctor and he held up his hand, stopping the guards in their tracks. The Doctor looked over his shoulder briefly at the guards before turning his attention back to M'nan'do.

"A very wise decision," he said to the alien feline.

"What are you" M'nan'do said.

"I can be your greatest ally or your worst nightmare, depending on how you treat me and my friends," the Doctor said.

"Where are Rose and Gaz," Clara asked.

"I don't know," M'nan'do said.

"Oh, I think you do know," the Doctor said, his steely gaze fixed on the feline.

M'nan'do tried to look defiant but he still felt that energy flowing through the Doctor and it made his fur stand on end.

Suddenly, M'nan'do turned and fled into the village at lightning speed. The Doctor and Clara glanced at one another before the Doctor turned his attention to the guards who were now surrounding them in a semicircle.

"Well?" he barked at them.

The guards glanced at one another before looking at the Doctor, unsure of what to do now that their leader was gone.

"Get…out…of…our…way," the Doctor growled at them in a low, menacing voice.

"Do as he says, please," Clara said, unsure what this new incarnation of the Doctor might really be capable of.

The guards finally parted and made a way for them into the woods. They stood meekly by while the Doctor and Clara walked by them and headed into the forest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

M'nan'do swatted back the curtain covering the door of his hut and entered, fuming at the loss of face and the fact that he ran away from a weak, defenseless creature. His father, Shi'tak'wa was sat on the floor of the hut in a lotus position while he smoked from a long stemmed, hand carved wooden pipe. He was very old, his jet black fur now a deep grey from age. His face was sagging a bit but he still had a strong profile and a wise demeanor. He was wearing a pale brown linen loincloth that was positioned over the top of his legs. He sucked on the pipe and lazily exhaled a smoke ring, watching with slightly rheumy eyes while his son searched through a large wicker basket at the back of the hut. He took another drag on his pipe, listening while his son cursed softly under his breath as he dug through the contents of the basket in search of something. He knew it was useless to offer his help or ask what his son was searching for. His son was a brilliant and capable war leader but he was also vain, stubborn and hotheaded. M'nan'do would tell him to be silent if he spoke so he held his tongue and smoked his pipe.

"Aha! At last! Here it is!" M'nan'do said as he pulled a large bundle wrapped in red linen out of the basket.

"And what have you found, my son?" Shi'tak'wa finally said.

M'nan'do turned to him, contempt on his face as he stared at his half naked father.

"Why do you insist on sitting here all day and smoking?" he said to Shi'tak"wa.

Shi'tak'wa smiled.

"I am old and at my age there is nothing like a good pipe," he said before taking another drag on his pipe.

He exahaled another smoke ring before repeating his question. M'nan'do swished in tail in annoyance, torn between leaving without a word or respecting his elder as he'd been taught as a kitten. Finally, he gave in and with a sigh, unwrapped the linen and showed his father an old papyrus scroll. Shi'tak'wa took another drag on his pipe, waiting for his son to explain it.

"It contains a prophecy," M'nan'do finally said. "Some prophecies from that crazy soothsayer we exiled from the village."

"Ah yes, Ka'ran'I, I remember her," Shi'tak'wa said, nodding. "She was a sweet woman."

"She was a fool," M'nan'do said.

"Then why are you reading the words of a fool?"

M'nan'do bristled at that and the lazy smile on his father's face but he kept his temper in check.

"One of her prophecies had to do with a storm," M'nan'do said to his father as he unfurled the scroll. "A storm that walked," he muttered as he scanned the scroll.

"You're right, that does sound foolish."

M'nan'do stopped reading and gave a sideways glance to his father, wondering if he was being sarcastic but his father's face was passive and he continued to blow smoke rings into the air. M'nan'do shook his head and turned his attention back to the scroll.

"Ah, here it is. There is one who will come among us and destroy our world and many others. He will be called The Oncoming Storm because like a storm he will visit chaos on worlds and leave devastation in his wake."

"Interesting," Shi'tak'wa said. "What has that to do with anything?"

"That…man out there, there's power in his veins, I can sense it."

"What man?"

"Oh, by the gods, father. Get up and see for yourself!" M'nan'do said impatiently.

Shi'tak'wa slowly got to his feet. He put out his pipe and tapped the ashes out onto the dirt floor of the hut, spreading them into the dirt with his foot before hanging his pipe up on a peg on the wall. Then he grabbed a carved staff from the corner and turned to look at his son.

"Show me this Storm Man then," he said to M'nan'do.

"I…uh…can't. He left," M'nan'do said sheepishly.

Shi'tak'wa stared at him for a moment.

"You made me put out my pipe for this?" he said to M'nan'do. "You wish me to see this Storm Man but he's not here?"

"We tried to stop him, my men and me. We took a male and female from his group and sent them to the caves, to Ka'ran'i."

"And why would you do that?" Shi'tak'wa said.

"In the hopes that the exile would kill them."

"You claim this man can destroy our world and you purposely made him angry?" Shi'tak'wa said.

"I didn't realize who he might be, father," M'nan'do said defensively. "I just remembered the prophecy after he left us."

"And where did he go?" Shi'tak'wa said.

"I…don't know," M'nan'do said, feeling more and more like a sheepish kitten in the presence of his father.

He looked at his father, waiting for him to say something but instead Shi'tak'wa started to walk towards the doorway.

"Show me where he went," he said to his son as he went outside the hut.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Ka'ran'i sighed as Gaz placed his hand on her shoulder and gave her blank look.

"How do you know so much about La'zo'bi?" he asked.

"I had a vision of his coming. He will be a man who will come among us and destroy our world and many others. Like a storm, he will visit chaos on worlds and leave devastation in his wake," she sighed and Rose looked at Gaz.

"And you think the Doctor, our friend, is this man?" Rose asked.

"I smell him on you."

"Have you ever met the Doctor?" Gaz asked.

"No, but his scent was very strong in my vision," Ka'ran'i said then tilted her head to one side. "Tell me, why do you smell like the M'rak'ke?"

"That is a long story," Rose sighed. "See, a long time ago, when I was traveling with the Doctor, I looked into the energy of something called the TARDIS."

"What is this TA'RD'IS?"

"It is a type of traveling vessel," Gaz said and Ka'ran'i's eyes widened.

"Draw it for me," she said as she handed him a rock and he knelt down on his haunches then smoothed his hand over the dirt. He started drawing as she looked over his shoulder and her tail swished back and forth. When he was finished drawing, he stood up and she looked at the drawing, tilting her head side to side. "It looks like a hut."

"Yeah, I guess it does," Gaz said as he stood up and rubbed his hand over the leg of his jeans.

"And you looked into the energy inside it?" she asked, looking at Rose.

"Yeah, once I did, the energy came into me and changed me. I could see everything and could be everywhere at once. I saw the past, present and every possible future. I could do anything," Rose said and Gaz saw the sadness in her eyes. He slid his arms around his wife and she gently leaned back against him. "The problem was the energy was killing me. To save me, the Doctor took the energy and placed the energy inside him then put back into the TARDIS."

"He sounds very powerful," Ka'ran'i said and Rose sighed.

"He is."

"Is being a He'kou'ra'ri a good thing?" Gaz asked.

"Yes," Ka'ran'i said. "A He'kou'ra'ri is a valued member of my…home."

Gaz let go of Rose then walked to Ka'ran'i and smiled at her. She was a little shocked when he hugged her and she purred, placing her head against his shoulder.

"My mate was a He'kou'ra'ri," she whispered.

"What did he look like?" Rose asked.

"He was as tall as your mate, but had white fur with black stripes and the shiny, blue eyes. They looked like frost on the water. He was broad of body and very strong. The one thing that put him apart from the others was his tail."

"What about it?" Gaz asked.

"He didn't have one," she said with a smile.

"What happened to it?" Rose asked.

"He lost it in battle. Like his father, he was a brave warrior and went to battle with a village on the other side of the lake. He was badly injured in battle and one of the enemy warriors took his tail as a trophy."

"Did they ever find it?" Gaz asked.

"No," Ka'ran'i said, shaking her head.

"Why didn't he fight to prevent your exile?" Rose asked.

"He was not allowed to. To do so would have meant his death."

"Did you have any…cubs?" Gaz asked.

"Yes, but they were…," Ka'ran'i said then looked down and tears rolled down her cheeks. Gaz thought for a few seconds then his heart slammed in his chest and he breathed hard through his nose.

"They killed your cubs?" he asked and she nodded her head.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"They were marked as tainted. When Ja'mi'e, that was his name, tried to prevent their deaths, he was killed," Ka'ran'i said then started crying. Gaz held her as he rubbed her back and gently rocked her. When she stopped crying, he removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and wiped her eyes then nose. Ka'ran'i sadly smiled at him as he nodded his head and she held the handkerchief in her hands.

"Well, I'll tell you this. If you had been my mate, I would have fought for you," Gaz said.

"That is very kind of you, but I would have stopped you."

"Still would have," he grumbled and she stroked his cheek.

"Tell me about your cubs," she said and Rose walked closer, standing next to Gaz.

"We have three," Rose said while Gaz reached into his coat pocket and removed his wallet. He slid the photograph out of his wallet then placed the wallet back in his coat pocket.

"What is this?" Ka'ran'i asked as he unfolded the photograph and smiled at the three children smiling back at him.

"This is a photograph. It is a captured image of something," he said and her eyes widened.

"So they are not trapped in there?"

"No," he said with a smile. "Now, the girl is our daughter. Her name is Donna Rose."

Ka'ran'i looked at the little girl with long blonde hair who was wearing a white t-shirt with kittens wearing sunglasses, jeans and white converse sneakers and her hair was done in long braids.

"How many seasons is she?"

"She's four," Rose said.

"She looks like her mother."

"She acts like her, too. A real terror, yeah," Gaz said and Rose gently shoved him. "See?!'

"Well, at least she isn't like her brothers," Rose said and Ka'ran'i looked at the twin boys with wild, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes and they were wearing jeans, a Spiderman t-shirt, an Ironman t-shirt and red converse sneakers. "This one is Alec Nicholas and this one is Campbell Lachlan."

"They look like their father," Ka'ran'i said with a smile. "How many seasons are they?"

"They're two," Gaz said then took the photograph back. He had taken the wallet out of his coat pocket again, placed the photograph away and placed the wallet back in his coat pocket.

"Are they with you?" Ka'ran'i asked when Rose realized something and her heart sank.

"No," Rose said.

"Yes," Gaz said and Rose looked at him with a stunned look on her face.

"What?" Rose asked. "What do you mean?"

"Uh, well, remember when I went back in the TARDIS to get the all-terrain bike?"

"Yes," she said, folding her arms over her chest.

"Well, I found them in the park room. Looks like they were playing in there and…"

"Wait, we went through that whirlpool thing to get here."

"The TARDIS kept them safe."

"It was still a big risk!"

"I know, but they're fine. In fact, Donna thought all the bouncing around was fun. Anyway, I sealed the room and the TARDIS will take care of them until we get back."

"See what I have to put up with?" Rose asked and Ka'ran'i laughed.

"Come, I will take you to the cave entrance," Ka'ran'i said as they headed into the shadows and Rose sighed then took Gaz' hand and he wrapped their fingers together.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

The Doctor and Clara stood outside Gaz's TARDIS. Clara watched while the Doctor spoke to the timeship, imploring it to let them in so they could rescue Gaz and Rose. Clara noticed that the box was not responding and it didn't surprise her since she'd had her own troubles trying to get the Doctor's TARDIS to like her.

"I don't think this is going to work, Clara," the Doctor finally said as he turned to her. "TARDISes bond with their owners and they're very picky about who they let inside."

"But you're the Doctor; we were inside there just now."

"With Gaz," the Doctor said. "The TARDIS can also read minds and I suspect it won't let us in because…"

"Because Gaz doesn't like you?" Clara said when the Doctor fell silent.

The Doctor nodded and let out an angry sigh.

"Doctor, he's a nice guy," Clara said as the Doctor seethed with quiet anger while staring at the TARDIS door. "I mean I don't know him well and I don't know everything that went on between you but he seems to be a nice person."

"Yeah, perhaps," the Doctor said, lowering his head. "It's just that…Rose and I…"

"You were lovers?" Clara said when the Doctor didn't speak and just stared at the ground.

For a moment, the Doctor didn't do anything and then Clara made out the tiniest of nods. She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," she said softly.

The Doctor looked up at her and she smiled tenderly.

"I understand, Doctor," she said, trying to be sympathetic to her friend. "I know what it's like to love someone, lose them and then watch as they carry on their life with someone else."

The Doctor shook his head.

"It's been centuries since I last saw her, Clara. I should be over it by now but…"

"But you can't get over her because she's imbedded deep within your heart, I mean, hearts," Clara said.

The Doctor nodded again and Clara put her arms around him and gave him a hug. To her surprise, he didn't stiffen this time but put his arms around her and hugged her back.

"I don't want to be resentful and jealous of Gaz but I can't help it," the Doctor said as he hugged her. "I still love her, Clara."

Clara tightened her hug and smiled when the Doctor tightened his. Then she felt him stiffen and for a moment, she thought she'd gone too far with the hugs when she heard the Doctor bark out, "What are you doing here?" She broke off the hug and turned to see M'nan'do was several feet away, glaring at them while a grey cat stood beside him, leaning on a staff and staring at them with interest. M'nan'do was about to go towards them when the elderly cat held up his hand and slowly walked towards them. The Doctor stepped in front of Clara while Shi'tak'wa gazed upon him.

"You are the Storm Man?" he said to the Doctor after a few moments of scrutiny.

"I am called the Oncoming Storm by some," the Doctor said, not sure where this was going.

He noticed that M'nan'do visibily stiffened at the mention of his nickname and he made sure that Clara was directly behind him. The elderly cat sniffed the air around the Doctor before nodding.

"I am Shi'tak'wa, one of the elders of the village. This is my son," he said, nodding his head at M'nan'do. "He tells me that one of our exiles saw you in a prophecy and it was written down. It is said that you will bring ruin and devastation to worlds."

Clara noticed the Doctor stiffen at that again and she moved around him.

"No, you don't understand," she said. "The Doctor protects worlds, I've seen it. He's a good man."

"Am I?"

Clara looked at the Doctor when he spoke.

"Am I a good man, Clara?" he said to her.

Clara was thrown off by the question and she remembered what Gaz had said about the Valeyard. She found it hard to believe that the man she cared deeply about was some sort of demented killer that lived to destroy worlds."

"You are a good man, Doctor," she said firmly.

She noticed the dubious look on the Doctor's face but he said nothing and turned his attention back to Shi'tak'wa.

"As Clara said, I try to protect worlds, not destroy them," he said to the elderly cat. "I may not always succeed in that, but I try my best. Now…" he said, quickly changing the subject as he pointed at M'nan'do, "this bloke kidnapped two people from our group and I want to know where they are and if they are safe or you really will see the Oncoming Storm."

M'nan'do hissed at that and started to run towards the Doctor but his father held up his hand and stopped him.

"Why were they taken away, my son?" he said, turning to M'nan'do.

"Because they are a threat, father," M'nan'do said, pointing to the Doctor. "They must be done away with."

"So far I have seen no evidence of malice from these two," Shi'tak'wa said mildly. "Did your companions threaten anyone in the village" he said to the Doctor.

"No, they did not," the Doctor said emphatically while Clara shook her head. "They were taken away because your son is a hothead and acted irrationally.

"I am defending my village, Hairless One!" M'nan'do growled at him.

"And we were just traveling and exploring the region, Furball!" the Doctor snarled back. "We told you we came in peace but you didn't listen because as your father so clearly pointed out, you are a hothead and if Rose and…Gaz die…" he added, balling his hands into fists.

"Son, take us to them at once," Shi'tak'wa said, turning towards M'nan'do. "If they came in peace, you have just committed a grevious sin. We do not treat people this way if they come in peace. Now lead us to where they were taken."

M'nan'do growled low in his throat as he glared at the Doctor. The Doctor smirked at that and M'nan'do swished his tail in anger before turning and leading everyone back towards the village.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"Tell me more about your cubs," Ka'ran'i said as they walked along the tunnels and Rose smiled at Gaz. They held hands as they walked behind Ka'ran'i and Gaz thought for a few seconds.

"Well, Donna just started nursery, that's a place of learning, and she is top in her class. She loves to climb trees and, well, nearly anything she can climb. There was this one time I swear my heart nearly stopped because she was climbing up the place where we kept our books," Gaz said and she giggled.

"She reminds me of my daughter. She was a very good climber," Ka'ran'i said then sighed.

"Tell her what happened with the twins," Rose said and Gaz rolled his eyes.

"I am never going to live that down, am I?" he asked and Ka'ran'i gave him a confused look. "When my twins were born, I accidentally gave my youngest son a strange middle name."

"What is a middle name?" Ka'ran'i asked.

"It's like a second name," Gaz said. "See, my middle or second name is "Nicholas"."

"So you are Ga'zni'cho'las?"

"Ah, I guess," Gaz said with a smile. "Now, we also have last or final names. Rose and I have the same name because we're mates or married. The name is "Lachlan"."

"Ga'zni'cho'las'lac'hla'n," Ka'ran'i said softly then smiled. "It is easier to say "Gaz"."

"Yep," Gaz said as he popped the "p". "Now, my youngest son's name is Campbell and his second name is…Lachlan."

"But that is your final name."

"I know. See, when the twins were born, I was very tired and wasn't thinking straight. It wasn't until later that I realized what I did."

"And you could not change the name or the gods would be angry," she said with a nod of her head.

"Something like that," Rose said and Gaz shrugged.

"This is why it is better for the mother to name the cubs," Ka'ran'i said with a shake of her head. They walked in silence until they came to the cave entrance and Gaz saw the robed figures who had brought them were gone.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Rose asked and Ka'ran'i moved back toward the shadows.

"No, I cannot," she said and Gaz frowned.

"What a load of rubbish. Come on, they won't do anything while we're around," he said with a smile and wiggled his fingers. Slowly, Ka'ran'i moved closer then took his hand and he wrapped their fingers together. "Right then, allons-y!"

"You say the oddest things, Gaz," she said and he wiggled his eyebrows up and down. They walked out of the cave then Ka'ran'i looked around and nodded. "The village is this way."

They walked down the path as Gaz swung Ka'ran'i's hand back and forth and the sunlight shimmered off the leaves overhead.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

M'nan'do led the way as they walked down the path and the Doctor glared at the back of his head. Clara noticed the look on the Doctor's face as she sighed and placed her hands in her pockets. Shi'tak'wa followed behind them as the old grey cat looked at the trees and long leaf plants and smiled. It had been a long time since he was outside and he had forgotten how beautiful his world was.

"It will be a shame if it was destroyed," he said softly and the Doctor frowned. Even though Shi'tak'wa hadn't talked loud enough for Clara or M'nan'do to hear, the Doctor's superior hearing picked it up and he sighed.

"I am a good man," he thought as he walked faster then stopped when the two figures who took Gaz and Rose appeared out of the bushes and Shi'tak'wa walked toward them.

"Greetings, Elder," the first figure said with a bow and he nodded his head.

"Greetings, Sno'var'i." he said then frowned. "Where are your prisoners?"

"We have left them with Ka'ran'i," the second figure said and Shi'tak'wa walked slowly toward him.

"And why did you do that, Gar'van'o?"

"She had sent for them."

"How is that possible since we didn't even know they were here?" Shi'tak'wa asked, holding tightly to the staff.

"Yeah, how could she do that?" Clara asked and the Doctor hushed her. Shi'tak'wa looked at his son then sighed and shook his head.

"More lies," he sighed then looked at Gar'van'o and Sno'var'i.

"What happened to our traveling companions?" the Doctor asked, glaring at them.

"She took them," Gar'van'o said then swallowed hard from the cold look in his eyes.

"Were they…still alive?" Clara asked.

"They were when we left them," Sno'var'i said then sighed. "If she was hungry…"

The Doctor felt his anger roaring through him as the darkness grew and he pictured Rose lying dead in a puddle of blood and Gaz torn to pieces. A cold part of him got some joy out of Gaz' death, but the thought of Rose dead made his fingers twitch. He wanted to release that anger and turn this world into ash and a dark part of him whispered that was exactly what he should do.

"Let us go back to the village and I will send out search parties," Shi'tak'wa said and they headed down the path. The Doctor walked near M'nan'do and M'nan'do glanced at him.

"If one hair is harmed on Rose's head, I will kill you," the Doctor whispered then looked straight ahead and M'nan'do growled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Careful," Ka'ran'i said while they walked along the tree branches with patches of thick moss spread over the wood and Gaz held tightly onto Rose's hand. They looked at the view from their perch high in the trees and small bugs flickered in different colors.

"If we were here under difference circumstances, the kids would love this," Rose thought as they crossed two branches that were held together by their branches and Ka'ran'i stopped, looking up at the sky. She pointed up as they looked at the large birds with blue and yellow feathers and a sweet birdsong filled the air.

"Blimey," Rose whispered as they listened for a few moments then Ka'ran'i walked to three, large vines and smiled.

"This way," she said as they took hold of the vines and Rose jumped when the vine encircled her waits. Ka'ran'i nodded her head then pulled on the vine wrapped around her waist then sank slowly off the branch. Gaz and Rose followed her as the vines lowered them then they landed with a soft thud and Ka'ran'i looked down, seeing Gaz' TARDIS under her feet. "What is this?"

"This is our traveling vessel," Gaz said when he jumped down and landed on his feet. Holding his arms out, he helped them down when he smiled and leaned against the door. "Want to come in?"

"Yes," she said with wide eyes and Gaz took the key out of the coat pocket, unlocked the door and they went inside.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

The Doctor was angry. First, Rose gets abducted and now they were on a wild goose chase through a forest on an alien planet he didn't want to be on. He'd only just regenerated and he was still trying to adjust and a planetfull of alien cats wasn't helping that.

Not to mention he was surprised to find himself insanely jealous of Gaz and his marriage to Rose, even though he was the one that basically gave his blessing to it in the first place. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized how weak his tenth and eleventh selves had been. A weak, emotional man with vanity issues who pushed people away when he should be coveting them.

The Doctor was shocked and he stopped as he realized where his train of thought was leading him. The others, noticing he was no longer walking, stopped and looked back at him.

"Doctor, what is it?" Clara asked, walking over to him.

The Doctor glanced at her and didn't answer. He shook his head and walked away. But Clara was persistent and followed him while M'nan'do and Shi'tak'wa glanced at each other.

"Doctor, what is it?" Clara said as she followed him off the path.

"Clara, go away, I need to be alone!"

"No, I want to know what's going on, what is it?"

"CLARA!" the Doctor bellowed as he suddenly spun around.

He swallowed hard at the look of shock and hurt on his companion's face.

"I'm sorry, forgive me," he said.

"Doctor, what's going on?" Clara said.

She took his hand and to her relief, the Doctor didn't jerk it away.

"Doctor, please tell me what's happening," Clara said gently, ignoring M'nan'do and Shi'tak'wa who were now several feet away watching and listening to them.

"Clara…this reboot. This isn't normal and I think it's…affected me in many ways," the Doctor said as he stared at the ground. "Maybe it would have been better to just let the Daleks finish me."

"No, Doctor, you can't say that," Clara said, grabbing his arm. "The universe would have suffered if you hadn't regenerated. The universe needs you…I…need you."

Twelve looked at Clara and saw her misty eyes. He put his hands against her cheeks and gazed at her tenderly.

"It has often been said that my companions are faithful," he said to her. "And that is what you are, my faithful companion."

"Thanks," Clara said, holding back tears.

She turned to the two cats who were still watching them.

"You see, he's not evil," she said to them. "He's not a world destroyer. He saves worlds. You've got it all wrong!"

The Doctor wasn't entirely sure about that but he kept silent and let Clara have her say. Besides, he enjoyed watching his companion stand up to M'nan'do. He loved knowing that the alien cat would like to attack her but he knew he was scared to since M'nan'do kept looking at him.

"The Doctor is here to help," Clara finished saying. "But cross him and you'll find yourself in a world of trouble."

"So he is a destroyer," M'nan'do said smugly.

"No, I'm protective of the people I care about and travel with," the Doctor said, walking up beside Clara. "And that is why you will find Rose and…Gaz and take us to them. Is that understood?"

M'nan'do hissed.

"No hairless creature is going to tell me what…"

"M'nan'do, silence!" Shi'tak'wa barked at him.

M'nan'do was stunned and fell silent but his fur still bristled and he growled low in his throat as he stared at the Doctor. Shi'tak'wa ignored him and walked towards the Doctor and Clara.

"You are at war with yourself?" he asked the Doctor.

"You could say that," the Doctor replied.

"Why? Do you fear the prophecy is true?" Shi'tak'wa said as he studied him.

The Doctor lowered his head and swallowed hard.

"I don't…know," he said softly while Clara's heart ached for him. "I don't want to be a world destroyer. I thought I was once but it turned out not to be true. Sometimes, I don't know what I am and perhaps it was better that I didn't continue on, except that Clara thinks I'm essential to the universe…and she cares about me."

"There is always a choice, my friend," Shi'tak'wa said gently as he put his hand on the Doctor's arm. "Prophecies are not set in stone; they can come true or be prove false, it is up to you. If you know this prophecy then you can take steps to avoid making it a reality, is that so?"

"Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no," the Doctor said. "There have been times when I've tried to avoid a prophecy, only to end up being a part of it anyway."

"Perhaps, but I think you are a strong man and I think you have the power to change what has been written. It's all up to you," Shi'tak'wa said. "Now, shall we go find your friends?"

The Doctor nodded, glad that at least one cat was on his side. Shi'tak'wa patted the Doctor's arm before turning and telling his son to go on ahead. The Doctor sighed as M'nan'do glared at him, hissed softly and turned to lead them all further into the woods.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-two

Ka'ran'i was surprised by the vastness of the TARDIS' interior as she looked around and Gaz leaned against the console. Rose had gone out the door in the back of the control room and Ka'ran'i hopped up onto one of the corals and sat with her legs on either side of the coral.

"It so much bigger than the outside," she said softly then looked at Gaz. "Is this some sort of magic?"

"You can say that," Gaz said.

"Are you a sha'za?"

"If that is anything like a wizard, no, I'm not. But I did grow her," he said as he patted the console and the TARDIS hummed softly. "I was told it would take a long time, but it only took two years with a little tweaking and poking."

"Can you show me some of her magic?" she asked with wide eyes and swung her legs back and forth.

"Sure," he said as he walked around the console, turning switches, flicking levers and typing on the keyboard. The door opened as Rose led the twins and Donna inside and the little girl looked at Ka'ran'i.

"You're right, Mommy. She is a pretty cat lady," Donna said and Ka'ran'i smiled. She hopped off the coral as she landed on her haunches and titled her head to one side.

"It is alright, Little Cubs, I will not hurt you," she said and Donna walked closer. She half closed her eyes as Donna gently stroked the side of her head and smiled.

"Tooka kitty," Campbell said, pointing to Ka'ran'i.

"Ye-ha, tooka kitty," Alec said and Ka'ran'i gave Gaz a confused look.

"Sorry, they're doing twin speak,' Rose said then knelt down next to the twins. "Boys, speak English."

"Pretty kitty," Campbell said and Alec nodded.

"It is fine, Rose," Ka'ran'i said. "My sons were two born and would do that."

"Right," Gaz said after looking at the screen and walked to the inner doors. "Ka'ran'i, come here."

Ka'ran'i walked to him when he opened the doors and her eyes went wide. She looked at the stars she had only seen in the night sky spreading out before her and a large, blue and green sphere floated below.

"Is that…is that where I live?" she asked and he smiled.

"Yep, that is your world," he said and Donna, who was standing next to him, smiled up at him.

"Let her fly, Daddy," she said and Ka'ran'i frowned.

"It's easy. Just take hold of my hand and don't let go after you step outside," Gaz said and she titled her head to one side. Ka'ran'i took hold of his hand as she closed her eyes and took a step. She felt herself floating into the air as she opened her eyes and gasped. She held on tighter as she floated over her world and looked at Gaz. She smiled as he laughed then gently pulled her back in and the inner doors closed.

"You truly are a sha'za," she said then hugged him and he patted her back. She moved back as she looked at the children then at Rose and Gaz and blinked her eyes a few times. "Would you give me the honor of traveling with you?"

"You want to come with us?" Rose asked.

"Well, someone has to look after the kids while we're out exploring," Gaz said as he walked to Rose, stood behind her, placed his arms around her then placed his chin on her right shoulder. "Pwease, Rose, let her stay."

"Yeah, Mommy, let her stay," Donna said, jumping up and down.

"Stay!" the twins chanted and Rose laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Ok, she can stay!" Rose said and Ka'ran'i walked to her while Gaz let go and she hugged Rose.

"So let me give you a quick look around then we can go back for the Doctor and Clara," Gaz said while holding his hand out and wiggled his fingers. Nodding, she took his hand and they left the control room while the time rotor moved slowly up and down behind the green glass.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

M'nan'do growled as they arrived at the village and the Doctor looked around. He had hoped that Rose and Gaz had returned, but he didn't see them and Clara held tightly onto his hand. Shi'tak'wa saw the worry in the Doctor's eyes as he sighed and held tightly onto the wooden staff.

"We will find them, Doctor," Shi'tak'wa said and the Doctor nodded his head. He still wondered why his tenth and eleventh lives pushed people away then he realized he had been doing it since he could remember. He pushed his granddaughter, Susan, away when she had fallen in love instead of bringing her boyfriend on board as a companion and wrote it off as her chance of having a better life then trailing after a grumpy old man.

He had let the Time Lords take Jamie and Zoe from him and erase their memories of him. He should have fought harder to keep them. Jamie was like one of his sons and he missed his banter and questions and Zoe was so much like Susan.

He pushed Sarah Jane away when he had to go back to Gallifrey in his fourth life. The hell with no humans allowed, he wanted to take her and he should have.

"Sarah," he whispered when he thought back to when he found out she had died suddenly. Her son, Luke, was taken in by his friend, Clyde's family and was in university now.

He thought about Martha, Jenny, Donna, Amy, Rory and River as he sighed and closed his eyes.

"I have lost so many," he thought as he squeezed Clara's hand, opened his eyes and smiled. "But I won't lose you, Rose or Gaz."

He nodded his head when Shi'tak'wa raised his arms and roared. The villagers stopped what they were doing as they gathered around them and the Doctor instinctively placed Clara behind him.

"Today a great injustice has been done. We have received new friends," Shi'tak'wa said with a smile to the Doctor and Clara. "Instead of treating them with celebration, two of them had been taken and were brought to Ka'ran'i!"

The villagers gasped and M'nan'do growled, his long tail scraping the ground.

"Before the sun vanishes in the sky, we will go to her lair and bringing our new friends back," Shi'tak'wa said when the bushes parted and Gaz, Rose, their children and Ka'ran'i walked in the village.

"Hello," Gaz said as Ka'ran'i held onto him and he smiled.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

Without thinking, the Doctor ran to Rose's side. Ignoring his rule, he hugged her deeply while Gaz stared at him in shock. He looked at his wife and noticed that she was trying to push him away, yet was enjoying it at the same time. Rose finally managed to pull away from him and she stepped back towards her husband, shocked at the angry look on the Doctor's face. She looked at Clara and noticed she looked upset and she guessed it was because of the hug. The Doctor then looked at Gaz and smirked, something that was uncharacteristic of the Doctor she knew. She looked at her husband and watched as he narrowed his eyes and his hands balled into fists and she was frightened that the two men were about to get into a fistfight right in front of everyone.

But Twelve backed down and instead turned his anger on M'nan'do.

"Now that we have our friends back, you will be letting us go in peace," he growled at the cats.

"Wait!" M'nan'do said, getting in front of him. "You cannot leave; you are a threat to the universe!"

"I can go wherever I want," the Doctor growled at him through gritted teeth. "Now get out of my way, Kitty!"

"Just leave him alone," Clara said quickly as she saw the murderous look in his eyes.

"My son, stand down," Shi'tak'wa said.

M'nan'do stood his ground for a moment before he backed away with an angry hiss. Twelve stomped past him, leaving his friends watching him with silent shock. The Doctor took five steps before looking over his shoulder. He stopped when he noticed no one else was following him.

"Staying then, fine? Goodbye!" he growled before he turned and walked off.

"I'm so glad I'm not regenerating so there's no chance I change into Mister Arsehole," Gaz said angrily as he watched him go.

He grabbed Clara's arm when she tried to go after him.

"If I were you, I wouldn't travel with him. The bloke seems a bit unstable to me," he said to her.

"I need to be with him. His past self told me to help him," Clara said before jerking her arm away from his grasp and running after him.

"I tell myself that often, you notice that?" Gaz said to his wife as Clara disappeared into the forest in search of her Doctor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Doctor?" Clara said, pausing to take a breath after two minutes of running.

She knew the Doctor could be fleet of foot but this new version seemed to be even faster. Or craftier since she realized he could have hidden in the forest and watched while she ran past him. She looked around but couldn't see any sign of him. She knew she was probably risking her life by being out here since M'nan'do could have her killed but at the moment, she didn't care. She needed to find her Doctor and see if she could help him. After all, that's what her purpose in life was, right? Ever since she made the decision to step into the Doctor's timestream, she took on the role of protector and she took that very seriously.

She walked through the forest, calling the Doctor's name but got no response. Eventually, she heard a rustling sound behind her and turned to see Gaz.

"I don't think he's answering you," Gaz said with a sympathetic look on her face.

"Why? What's going on? Why is he so different? He's so…angry."

Gaz sighed.

"I think he's upset that he found Rose again and I'm in the picture," he said to her. "I think he wishes I was dead."

"But you've done nothing to him," Clara said.

"I married Rose," Gaz said grimly. "Even though he technically gave her to me, he still loves her deeply. How long has it been since his regeneration?"

"A few weeks."

"He might still be unstable. Some of the regenerations were rougher than others. It might take time for him to become a bit more stable in his thinking."

"He was given a whole new set of lives, from the Time Lords. He was going to die when they saved him."

"Well, that might explain some of it," Gaz said. "The Time Lords set the limit at twelve regenerations because the stress and strain of regenerating is not good for the mind. One of my enemies, the Master, lived past thirteen lives and he's gone mental. Granted, he was mental before that but it never helps."

"Are you saying the Doctor is going to go insane?" Clara said with horror.

"I don't know, Clara. New set of lives, rough regeneration and a jealousy streak do not add up to a sane, stable individual. But…if by chance, he leaves you behind, you are more than welcome to come with me and Rose. Both of us like you a lot and we would be happy to have a fellow time traveler. Not saying that you must, but it's an open invitation in case things take a turn for the worse."

"Thank you," Clara said.

While they were talking, Twelve was sitting high up in the trees on a broad tree limb listening to their conversation. His eyes narrowed when Gaz extended the invitation.

"No, you're not taking another person I care about away from me, you wanker," the Doctor muttered between clenched teeth. "You think you can just take everyone I love away from me, you better think again."

He waited till they walked on and continued the search. Then with a smirk, he slowly came down out of the tree and hurried back the other way to find Rose.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-four

Ka'ran'i looked at Rose as she held onto Campbell and Alec stood next to her.

"Who was that scary man?" Donna asked through tears and Rose knelt down, hugging her.

"That was the Doctor," Rose said as she looked toward the bushes and hoped Gaz was alright.

"Nuh-unh, the Doctor's nice. Daddy said so," Donna said and Rose wiped her daughter's eyes.

"I think the Doctor's not feeling good, yeah?" Rose said and Donna nodded her head.

"I still think we should hunt him down," M'nan'do growled.

"No," Shi'tak'wa said when Clara and Gaz came back and Rose noticed the look in her husband's eyes.

"We lost him," Gaz said as Donna ran to him and he picked her up.

"Mommy says the Doctor's sick, Daddy. What's wrong with him?" Donna asked.

"Well, when he changed face, the change mad him sick. It happened, Jelly Bean," he said and she placed her head on his shoulder.

"What do we do now?" Rose asked as she walked closer and placed her hand on his arm.

"I'm not sure," Gaz said. "I do know he can't go anywhere. My TARDIS won't let him in."

"Then we should go," Ka'ran'i said.

"I agree," Clara said as Rose looked at him and frowned.

"I thought you said you had to protect him," Rose said and Clara sighed.

"He isn't the same man anymore," Clara said softly.

"I told her she could come with us," Gaz said.

"Ka'ran'i is coming with us, too," Rose said and Shi'tak'wa smiled.

"Yes, that would be for the best," he said then looked at Ka'ran'i. "Please forgive this old one for how we treated you."

"I do," Ka'ran'i said with a bow and he bowed back.

"Go in peace," M'nan'do said and she softly smiled at him.

"Let's go," Gaz said as he handed Donna to Rose and Ka'ran'i picked Alec up.

"Doctor blah blu," Alec said, folding his arms over his chest.

"What does that mean?" she asked, looking at Gaz.

"If it means what I think it means, someone is going to taste soap," Gaz said as Alec covered his mouth with his hands and Gaz smiled, shaking his head.

"Daddy will, too, for teaching him that word," Rose said as Gaz gave her a shocked look.

"I only said it once," he protested and she gently nudged him. They walked into the bushes, but didn't see the Doctor standing on the branches in a high tree and he growled. He waited until Gaz was under him then jumped and landed on him.

"No," Clara shouted as the Doctor reached for Gaz' throat, but Gaz grabbed his hands then bent his legs up and bucked the Doctor off him. Rose and Ka'ran'i held onto the children as Gaz got to his feet and stood in a battle stance.

"You are not taking what's mine," the Doctor growled and Gaz saw that his eyes were jet black.

"If you're talking about Rose, you gave her to me!" Gaz said as the Doctor ran toward him and Gaz swung his fist and punched the Doctor in the stomach. The Doctor gasped for air as Gaz slightly smiled and bounced on the balls of his feet. "I may be half-human, but I also have the strength as well as the speed of a Time Lord."

The Doctor roared when Gaz jumped up and grabbed hold of a branch then kicked the Doctor in the face. The sound of bones breaking filled the air as blood poured out of the Doctor's nose and Gaz swung up, crouching on the branch.

"I also had Torchwood battle training," he said when the Doctor grabbed hold of the tree and shook.

"Leave him alone, you bloody wanker," Rose shouted and the Doctor looked at her. "If you kill him, I will hate you forever. You will never have me nor will you ever have our children. We will leave you the first chance we get!"

"I could go back and make sure he was never born!" the Doctor roared.

"We all would have died because there would have never been a Doctor Donna to stop Davros!"

"I would have thought of something!"

"No, he would have thought of something! The Doctor doesn't kill!"

"I am the Doctor!"

"You blah blu," Alec shouted and the Doctor glared at him.

"Make one move toward the cub and I will gut you," Ka'ran'i growled.

"She means it," Gaz said when the Doctor took the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and pointed the sonic screwdriver at him. The Doctor pushed the button as the high pitch whine filled the air and the sonic screwdriver flew out of his hand.

"What?" he growled then looked up and saw Gaz had his own sonic screwdriver in his hand.

"Surprise," he said then hopped out of the tree and landed in a crouch. He stood up as the Doctor looked at them and his hearts slammed in his chest. Roaring, the Doctor charged at Gaz, but Gaz got out of the way and the Doctor slammed into the tree. The Doctor fell unconscious on the ground as Clara went to check on him, but Rose grabbed hold of her, shaking her head.

"It could be a trick," she said when M'nan'do and Shi'tak'wa came out of the bushes and Gaz looked at them.

"Do you have any rope?" Gaz asked.

"Yes," Shi'tak'wa said while M'nan'do walked toward the Doctor and Clara's eyes went wide.

"Don't go near him" she said when the Doctor's eyes snapped open and he got up, grabbed M'nan'do's spear as he pushed M'nan'do to the ground and tossed the spear.

"No!" Rose shouted as Shi'tak'wa pushed Gaz down and the spear went through Shi'tak'wa's back then stuck out of his chest and blood poured out of the corners of his mouth. Shi'tak'wa staggered forward as Gaz got up and caught him before he fell to the ground. Shi'tak'wa looked up at Gaz as he smiled then lifted a shaky hand and Gaz took his hand.

"Hang on. We'll take you to my TARDIS and…," Gaz said and Shi'tak'wa shook his head.

"No," he said then coughed. "I'm going to see my ancestors. Just promise me you will help he remember…he is a good man."

"I promise," Gaz whispered then Shi'tak'wa closed his eyes and went still in his arms.


End file.
